Responding To Quora Question On Inviting A Brother To The Break-up Chat!

Hello Everyone!

I opted to go on Quora for some more inspiration for new topic suggestions. As the gentleman from Brother’s Campfire commented, Quora has a mixed back of questions to pull from or use as a reference. I opted to respond to this question from a person, it doesn’t clarify man or woman, who is thinking about inviting the brother to join in and help question the ex boyfriend during the last hoorah discussion. I personally, no matter how good the intention, believe that we must face our own battles. Sometimes, no matter how eloquently the questions are posed, we may not get the closure we seek. While closure allows you to heal, we may not get it and that is okay. I am very curious to the age and gender of the person posing the question. I would like to believe that this is the handy work of a young woman. However, I have been wrong before. Maturity is not necessarily attached to age and gender either.

We are all here to learn a lesson and meet people along the path to that lesson. It is comforting to know that each person we encounter, we are supposed to meet them as per our life purpose. That fact alone gives me closure if an ex cannot offer it during the closing chat. We cannot invite our family members to a private matter. What if you opt to give the ex another shot? In the event that, during the parting ways meeting that your brother joined, turned sour, you now cannot erase that interaction from your brother’s mind. This interaction will not solely stay with your brother either. Your brother’s opinion will now more than likely seep into the rest of the family. You cannot blame your brother since he has your interests at heart and you invited him. Ultimately, you must blame yourself.

Now here is the Quora question that was posed:

So my bf broke up with me. He’ll be coming over to drop off my belongings to talk & leave. Would it be okay to bring my brother in the room? I need help from my brother Bc he’s good at asking questions & identifying why break up ended on an argument.

My response that I posted on Quora:

It is not wise to bring your brother into a break-up meeting. After all, having two males in a room with a ton of emotions is not a good cocktail to properly part ways. Instead, pick your brother’s brain with questions he would have and write them down. Those questions should come from you and not your brother. In the event you decide to get back together, your brother will not forget the interaction if it went sour. I wish you luck with closing one door and opening a new door in the future!

I look at bringing a brother into a deeply emotional situation could very well be like inviting a Jerry Springer or Maury type of reaction. For anyone not familiar with my Jerry Springer and Maury reference, they are two shows on television in the U.S. that have been on tv for many years. The show producers drag on the most emotionally unstable and irrational people in the country and broadcast their antics and poor behavior on television. The people may very well have legitimate issues to iron out. However, they are encouraged to duke it out for everyone on the planet to see. If there are no fights, you have women sifting through multiple men on an endless quest to find the father of her child. I find those shows as a vehicle to expose the absolute bottom of the barrel of our American society. With this said, inviting a family member to the last stop on your emotional parade is not a good idea. People make poor choices with their words while under emotional duress.

When parting ways, try to be as calm and peaceful as possible. Try to ask questions that will give you closure. Write out and read the questions out loud to ensure they are what you seek. Work to be okay with what is offered. The ex may not know how to offer the closure you seek. I do not personally believe that I need to get final words from another soul to heal mine. I have the home field advantage since I have worked with all men for the majority of my career. 🙂 In the process, I have gained a better understanding of men. I have saved quite a few fellow coworker’s marriages over the years by just interpreting the emotions and actions of the woman. It was during those jobsite coaching sessions where I learned that some women are very emotional and rather cryptic. Withholding information, giving veiled clues, and making someone guess about how you feel is not healthy. Nor does it give what you seek. Men are not mind readers nor should they be.

Parting ways with someone you love yet is no good for you is such a challenge! I totally understand the frustration of dealing with toxic or noncommunicative people as well. This is why being single is the better option. Once you escape, enjoy those moments of solitude to reflect while they last. Now that all of the single people have been peppered with some Covid-19 concerns in their dating life, dating has earned a new challenge. It is better to fly solo and to not know where you land than to be in familiar surroundings with someone who makes you miserable! What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you ever brought a relative in on a break-up discussion? If so, what was the impact? Was it a smooth conversation? Did you return to the ex? As always, I thank you for taking the time from your day to check out my mixed bag of blog content. If you are guilty of listening to either the audio blog or podcast, I thank you kindly! I wish you a great kick ass Friday and upcoming weekend!!

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube. Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify. I will announce more platforms very soon.

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