What Is Nikah Halala?

Hello Everyone!

I am hanging out with my buddies at one of my friend’s beach house at Seaside Heights at the New Jersey Shore. Once I woke up this morning, I start the day by chilling out until everyone is ready to go out. I opened up my computer to review some more questions. I stumbled upon this odd question with nothing further for context on Quora. I am totally clueless as to what it means yet I am determined to tackle it and figure it out. I have never crossed this term in my entire life. Since I am a curious person, it is time to research the topic and share what I find. I looked it up and it refers to a rule for marriages within the Islam religion. After reading the first sentence, I was very prejudice about the topic. I sensed that this lifestyle choice would negatively impact either the husband or wife in a marriage prior to researching. Also initially, I was pretty sure that it would further impact the wife. In Islam, ‘halala’ is a term that finds its roots in ‘halal’ that translates to ‘something that is permissible’, and therefore ‘lawful’. In the context of marriage, it means that a divorced woman can then become ‘halal’ (lawful) for her husband again. This is after nikah halala is complete. This transaction already sounds shady as hell and manipulative in nature. Let’s dig deeper into the research and see what these shenanigans are all about!

Islam offers guidance where a Muslim man has the option to divorce and remarry the same woman up to three times. I learned that a religious institution set up rules for how husbands and wives can conduct themselves when they marry and divorce multiple times. According to my research where I searched for information, the third time is the “charm”. Three times is the maximum amount of times a couple can go back and forth with each other in a marriage. One religious requirement, that applies to women, imposes a limit on the reasons for a divorce. Divorce is only possible when either the husband dies or if he asks for divorce. Under only these conditions, the woman is allowed to go back to her first husband and remarry him. I am trying to understand why this process is even beneficial in a marriage?? I also wonder why people choose to repeatedly marry and divorce?? On the surface, this sounds like some undecisive or volatile couples. People who are a hot mess and do not have their act together. If I am divorcing someone, my mind is made up and I am not going back to marry the dude a second time. If you annoy me to the point of a divorce, there is no turning back. I am grateful that I do not have to financially rely on a man.

Now my initial perception believed that this religious principle is much harsher than it actually is in reality. In fact, it is designed to keep a husband from marrying and divorcing his wife a bunch of times. I am honestly humored by what must happen for the man to be able to re-marry the ex-wife a third time! In order to re-marry an ex-wife for a third time, the ex-wife must marry another man, have sex with the new husband, and then she can get a divorce. Once the divorce is finalized, the exes can get back together to marry for the third and final time. Would it be worth it to you to get married for the third time?!? I live under a rock regarding this type of torture that was used in a marriage. I just learned that men use divorce as a means of torture against the wife. I am sure that this is not just practiced within the Islamic community. To be clear, this barbaric practice was a pre-Islamic tool husbands used to evoke on their wives to get their attention. Who would think that this is morally correct to do? Another assumption I made was that the wives being punished were not able to part ways permanently to find a much kinder husband. I see that I am wrong and that they have other options if the husband dies or agrees to a divorce. I am sure women didn’t have many options prior to the establishment of the religious doctrine. I cannot possibly imagine enduring continuous threats of divorce, it actually happening, and the only option is to go back to the same old jerk. I do not blame women for choosing to just stay broke, single, and even become a beggar in the street!!

I am way too stubborn and set in my ways to abide by that type of abuse from any man. Then again, why be so cruel to the person closest to you? The person who shares your bed. I understand being upset about someone’s poor behavior and wanting to motivate them to do better. However, going all of the way to file for divorce with the intention of re-marrying is cruel. The punishment far exceeds the crime. The poor wife who endures this must have huge stains on her heart that can never be erased. A husband who doesn’t understand the impact of his actions is a loser. I would love to hear from anyone who is very familiar with this religious practice? How many people do you know have married for the third time? Other than celebrities, I can’t think of a single person I know has been married twice. Three times to re-marry seems absolutely insane to me! I barely want to even marry a man the first time. The last time I got married, I was 18-years old. These days, a marriage is considered a business deal. You must be cautious who you marry. A bad marriage can ruin you financially. A bad marriage can result in you losing half your pension and/or life savings. I would feel that a marriage that is always on the brink of threat of divorce, is an emotional roller coaster. Who the hell wants to be in a constant state of dread and fear of disrupting their entire home life, finances, dynamics. Never mind the feelings of an adult. How does this immature nonsense impact the lives of the children!??! Constantly threatening divorce is a tumultuous home environment that children do not deserve.

I have always viewed the husband as the leader of the household. Instilling constant fear into his family is selfish behavior. There are a million ways to handle a relationship without dragging the entire family into the problem. Have you ever heard of this type of religious doctrine? What do you think about it? Did it really work to reduce mass chaos in families? Can you share an anonymous story to share? Do you know of a different doctrine that is just as odd as Nikah Halala? Leave it in the comments below. It is now time to go out and hang out in the decent weather today. It is supposed to be almost 80 degrees Fahrenheit here on the New Jersey Shore. I was writing this while I was listening to music and talking to the group. They laugh at me that I have the laptop open and writing while we are all chilling out listening to music. The best part is I don’t miss out on the conversation. I obviously like to write if I do it while I am hanging out with friends. Thanks for stopping by to read my odd chosen topic of the day! I wish you a wonderful Sunday either solo or with friends and/or family. I shall harass you all very soon with another weird topic!! 😛

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

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