How Do You Determine A Genuine Compliment??

Photo Credit: http://www.pomaka.com

Hello Everyone!

Is your evening nice and chill tonight? How warm was it on your side of the globe today? Are you noticing the leaves changing already and dropping to the ground? I noticed it here in New York City already. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that you will dodge any bad weather or earthquakes. My heart goes out to the nation of Haiti who are enduring tough times right now! Prayers for anyone facing a hurricane in the near future as well. Hopefully, your Monday evening is calm and uneventful. We have weather in the low to mid 80’s Fahrenheit here in New York City this week. Let me know in the comment section if you are considered as mean with your delivery to others? If so, how have you worked to soften up your delivery? If you take no prisoners with your approach, let me know as well. I am pretty sure that my audience is not super sensitive in nature. I would envision my audience to be rough around the edges and laced with tons of sarcasm like myself. If I am incorrect with my assessment, let me know. Here is a question, from Quora, on a woman who received feedback that her compliment is not normally what is offered. I want to scream, on her behalf, that she gave a damn compliment!! Stop analyzing it and accept it!! Do you struggle with how others perceive you? Are you trying to evolve and not be so hard or sarcastic with your delivery? Is this a New Year’s resolution? I feel sorry for anyone who has to walk on egg shells all of the time around sensitive people. As a construction worker and veteran, I learned long ago in my childhood to be tough. I didn’t have much of a choice to be anything other than tough. I don’t know how to be that sensitive woman that cries at a drop of a hat. I have to ask God for patience every time I hear someone cry easily at the drop of a hat. I am sure that many people have a different view on this question and I respect that. I am aware that my response is one of many. Here is the posed question and my response below.

POSED QUESTION:

“When you give someone a compliment and they say “that’s a lot coming from you”, do they mean I’m usually mean?”

Noella Basco

MY RESPONSE:

“I am not working with much information or history on this question. I will still take a stab at this even while missing context, history, and further details. The person who responded “that’s a lot coming from you” doesn’t have much confidence in the authenticity of your recent compliment. Was it intended as a joke from either side? There is a sliver of truth in every joke that has been told. The person responding monitors your previous responses and doesn’t believe that your compliment is authentic or what you typically offer. Why is that? Are you very reserved with offering kind input? Are you typically sarcastic in nature and the delivery is really hard for the other person to read? Are you guilty of cutting a person down versus giving kind feedback? Why are compliments difficult for you? Are you a hard person to please? Is it possible that the other person is not even capable of receiving compliments? Is the person so hard on themselves, they are incapable of receiving a compliment? We can’t always assume that this is totally your fault. Did you learn your delivery style from someone prominent in your childhood? Whether or not you intend to be mean, you are being perceived as mean. Unfortunately, if more than a handful of people have also said it, then it is more than likely to be a fact. Does it bother you what the person said? If it doesn’t, then continue on with your life. If it does bother you, then take inventory of what you have said in the past and try to implement small changes. Chances are high, since you wrote this out to ask for feedback, that you are bothered by the feedback on your delivery. You offered very little details to assess. It’s fair to say that you are thinking about what was said from both sides. If you want to evolve your image, you need to be more cautious with your words moving forward. Once words go out into the air, you cannot take them back. Due to my upbringing, military service, and years of working in construction, I tend to deliver feedback in a very hard or sarcastic manner. I find giving out compliments that were not earned as a challenge. I was raised to be tough, suck it up, and not cry ever since I was a little girl. I am probably the last person to learn from on how to become softer with the delivery. As I have gotten older, I do try to take into consideration a sensitive person when I am having a dialogue. Sometimes, I will evaluate whether or not my feedback is even needed. This is especially true if feedback has some potential to cause some form of drama. Sometimes, no matter how cautious you try to be, you cannot please everyone. Sarcasm can serve as a survival tactic in many environments. Even an absolute perfect delivery can somehow rub a super sensitive person the wrong way. Don’t try to get too wrapped up in what has already been said. I don’t believe that what was said was serious enough to loose sleep over it. It is also pointless to spend too much time and over analyze that past scenario. Just put your best foot forward and try your best to exercise caution with feedback in the future. Don’t try to kiss ass and throw in compliments that are not needed either. That can also come across as not authentic. I have had to tip toe around sensitive people and it is not easy at all. I have sympathy for you if you are trying to manage the tight rope of walking over and around sensitive people. I wish you luck on your choices moving forward. “

Leslie M. Jasper

https://www.quora.com/When-you-give-someone-a-compliment-and-they-say-that-s-a-lot-coming-from-you-do-they-mean-I-m-usually-mean/answer/Leslie-Jasper-3?prompt_topic_bio=1

Well, let me know your thoughts about this topic by dropping feedback or just show some support? I am curious as to your perception on the question. I am trying to write this out before I step out for my evening stroll. Have you ever experienced a person telling you that your compliment is rare or not often offered? Are you the type to not easily accept compliments? Who do you think is in the right in this scenario? Do you like my advice? If your advice would differ, how much different would it be? I would be interested to hear a different viewpoint than mine. Now, I need to move on to other tasks before going to bed. Therefore, have a fabulous Monday evening at work or home solo or with friends and/or family. Try to enjoy your new week however you wish or need to do. Try to keep cool, dry, and safe on this new work week people! Peace out, Cub Scout!

I recently released and shared my latest three podcast episodes that I have up on my Verbally Disastrous YouTube channel and the podcast platform of your choice. I have released the following:

Episode #29: Part A-Sunday Funday With Friends And Family on YouTube:

Episode #30: Part B-Sunday Funday With Friends And Family on YouTube:

Episode #31: Mrs. Canatuna Piggly Dogg Meat Complaint!! on YouTube:

CONSTRUCTION TALES- TOLD BY A WOMAN: (6) SHORT STORIES ON AMAZON!!

I just released another short story this week on working while pregnant back in 2004 with my youngest son. I now have shared (6) short stories to my Kindle Vella Library. They are short stories that will become the makings of my next book within the #ConstructionTales series that will be entitled, Construction Tales: Volume II: My Illuminated Path Continues.. Construction Tales: Told By A Woman by Leslie M. Jasper- short stories for Kindle Vella on Amazon:

Construction Tales-Told By A Woman For Kindle Vella On Amazon

Cheers!
Leslie M. Jasper

-Author And Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on many platforms that include: Acast, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Soundtrap, Spotify, Stitcher, Tune In, and YouTube.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast And Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Acast, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, Stitcher, and Tune In.

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