How are you spending your time on your Wednesday afternoon!? Are you surprised that I yet again went looking for some requested questions within my selection on my Quora profile? I know, by this point, you know that I rely on the pool of Quora topics to keep this blog spicy and to evoke thought. This topic that caught my eye was the subject of the cost of ignoring red flags. I initially chose this one since I thought I could respond to it quickly. I was trying to be short and sweet with this piece of advice. However, I did go down deeper in the rabbit hole than I anticipated and managed to pull myself back. I’m sure I could have expanded on this topic and made into a long ass thesis. I recognize that a few of my talking points are rather sensitive in nature and great care needs to be taken while approaching them. I feel like I can speak on those talking points since I have either experienced it first hand or witnessed it as a child. As a young person, I didn’t have the capacity to properly articulate my feelings on these various areas. I’m grateful that I picked up this ability during my ongoing journey into adulthood. I’m also grateful that I didn’t regularly attract a man with domestic violence red flags. I’ve basically said without saying to anyone that I embark into a relationship with that the first punch thrown will be the last one. I have also shared that I will hit back since God gave me the same strength as a man. For the record, I do not believe that a couple should put their hands on one another ever. Instead, they should use their words after giving each other enough space to cool down. Once the respect is lost, so is the relationship. If I have to defend myself, I would do it with every fiber of my being. I’m sure that lack of fear of facing violence is always in the back of the other person’s mind. I believe that this is a situation that should never be tested or moved past if activated. Here I go again down the rabbit hole on only one of the talking points. Obviously, I am rather passionate about this subject matter. I won’t spoil the advice post any further. As with my last advice posts, I sincerely hope that this advice can be of help or at the very least have you ponder the topic. Here is the posed question and my response below:
“What did ignoring someone’s red flags cost you?”By Mariee Boyden
“The costs of ignoring someone’s red flags are high. When I say that, it may not necessarily quantity of many red flags but the magnitude. I believe that the biggest cost is your time. You cannot get back your time once it’s lost. You can always make back money that you lose on a person with more red flags than a Chinese military parade. However, life does not issue you more time that you lost. You can’t purchase more time no matter how much money you have. Other costs of ignoring the red flags are your youth. There is only a finite amount of time where a person has their youth. It’s not a good thought to have a person who is worthy of taking a chunk of your youth. Usually people in a relationship spend money. If you managed to get through an entire relationship without contributing at all financially, I don’t know what to say. I sure hope you returned energy in different ways that were just as valuable. Any red flags you endured was your currency exchange for mooching off a giving soul. If you pooled money into a relationship that didn’t return it in some form, that was a red flag. Doing anything for a person who has not returned in some way is a red flag. Once you pay time, money, and youth, what is a higher cost than that? Another cost would be your son and/or daughter’s trauma within their childhood. That is a pretty high cost in my book. Bringing in a boyfriend or girlfriend into your home and ignoring their red flags, via interactions with your children, is a huge cost to be paid by the mind of your children. That is just as high of a cost as time or money. You can’t wipe the impact away from the mind of a child. Once you experience childhood trauma, it takes many years of self work, therapy, bad life choices, and ruined relationships to get past the shadow of your bad childhood. The parent gets to enjoy the fruits of a relationship with a toxic partner while their children pay the price of ignoring the red flags. I’m not saying that the parent doesn’t experience costs of ignoring red flags. That parent cannot overlook that the children don’t also suffer. My last cost that I will reveal is a person’s self-esteem. When you allow a toxic, red flag laden person into your personal space, over time this toxic soul will work to systematically erode your soul. Over time, the self-esteem gets eroded so much, it rusts, rots, and falls apart metaphorically. Once your self-esteem falls apart, that person will allow even more bad things to continue to happen in their life. They will think that they deserve any domestic violence that was doled out by their toxic partner. This erosion of the self-esteem is so corrosive, the person will be a shell of what they once were to where the only escape is through removing themselves from the Earth. There is help and an escape from this deep hole that this person has sunk into slowly over time. A person can find and re-build their self-esteem again if they are willing to work on it after an angel on Earth has shown them the path. It is hard work to re-build but it is indeed possible. Once out of the red flag danger zone, this person will be hypersensitive, dare I say develop an allergy, to the mere sight of red flags. I’m going to pull back from this topic since it is a deep subject that is sensitive where you must exercise great care. Sadly, I have experience with this topic as a child witnessing this erosion. It was a valuable lesson that I carried with me into my adulthood on what not to do. I’m sure I speak more in depth on this cost as well as other costs of ignoring red flags on my Leslie’s Verbally Disastrous Podcast & #ConstructionTales Blog website. Instead, I will stop at what I perceive as the highest costs. I wish you luck on your journey discerning those red flags while determining if there is value in moving forward while knowing the cost.”By Leslie M. Jasper
If you approached this topic, how would you tackle it? Drop your feedback on how you would tackle it down in the comment section below. I thank you kindly for stopping by at my blog post. Guess who is sharing their (6) latest podcast episodes that have been released for The Verbally Disastrous Podcast, via links for Spotify & YouTube down below? Yeah, you got me! 🙂 If you are into reading on a Kindle, check out my newest short story release that belongs to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library short story series on Amazon down below. Short story #9 is entitled, “I’m Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick!”. I released short story #9 and it went live this week. If anyone has read any of my other short stories, by all means let me know what you think? I have some irons in the fire as far as some more upcoming podcast guests. I have recorded a few podcast episodes this week that I still need to edit and release. I even have an acquaintance who is a practicing Satanist. I’m curious as to his/her path from transitioning from being a Catholic to a Satanist. I’m sending him the questions out this week so he/she can prepare for the interview. Melissa and I need to discuss our impending topic on our most embarrassing moments. It’s now time for me to work on some back burner tasks and try to finish my Christmas shopping up this week. I did another round of Zumba YouTube videos last tonight and I plan to exhaust again tonight. Now go ahead and finish your Wednesday afternoon now since the work week is almost halfway completed. I wish you a great morning/afternoon/evening on your side of the globe and a restful or productive day!
The Verbally Disastrous Store On Tee-Spring:
Here is the link to the Verbally Disastrous Podcast on Spotify:
Season #1, Episode #37: Part A- Surviving The 2008 Recession As A Construction Worker on YouTube:
Season #1, Episode #38: Part B- Surviving The 2008 Recession As A Construction Worker on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Presents- Season #1, Episode #39: Part A-Most Random Encounters!! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Presents- Season #1, Episode #40: Part B-Most Random Encounters!! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Season #1, Ep. #41: Part A- Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Season #1, Ep. #42: Part B- Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick! on YouTube:
I shared my latest short story that has been loaded up to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library on Amazon recently. The latest short story is entitled: #9: “I’m Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick!”. I decided to write about some stories from when I worked with the tools on the railroad. I shared a story of saving a co-worker from a near death experience! I hope you learn something from this short story. There are more to come. This short story is now also available as two Verbally Disastrous podcast episodes.
Construction Tales- Told By A Woman: (9) Kindle Vella Short Stories On Amazon!!
The Photacular Imagery: Website By Brian Reyes:
Leslie M. Jasper
-Author And Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on many platforms that include: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Soundtrap, Spotify, Stitcher, Tune In, and YouTube.
-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast And Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, Stitcher, and Tune In.
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