Advice: The Conflict Between Criticism & Imitation Via A Friend

Hello Everyone!

How is the progress of your home/work grind going for your Tuesday afternoon!? I got a massage from an Asian masseuse that kicked my ass! I will be sore for the next 2 days. It is something that I dread yet it must be done. I have to do it in order to loosen up knots in my muscles. It builds up until I can no longer ignore it. Too bad it is not covered by insurance. As I ask in each and every damn post lately, please connect with my son John Collazo on his social media that is under his name for his “Call To Action Marketing” #CTAMarketing brand that he is building. For this blog post, I’m sharing with you even more custom crafted construction chick advice. This posed Quora question comes from a woman who clearly sounds confused. I’ve learned that normal behavior varies differently from person to person. What you learn in childhood makes your normal different than another person’s childhood. Some people grew up in homes where constant criticism is like reading the news. It was just fact based and lacked emotions. In other households, any form of criticism is met with heavy emotions. This person doesn’t have the capacity to handle criticism since this input is considered to be intended to highlight a person’s inefficiencies. These inefficiencies are translated to being a less than valuable person. Without knowing the writer or her friend, you have no idea what was considered normal behavior for accepting/delivering criticism. I think anyone who tries to do the same things as their friend is a form of flattery. You don’t mimic behavior that you don’t find value in. People do criticize out of genuine concern or in an effort to degrade the other person. Some people gain a sense of superiority from degrading another person. Ultimately, it’s up to you as to if you graciously take in and absorb the data or take offense and reject the data. Hopefully, you do not allow your self worth, as a human, to be dictated by another person’s input. We all learn and grow by hearing input, not previously considered, by folks who observe us from afar. If faced with criticism, may you use that feedback to your advantage. Let me know your thoughts on the scenario presented in the posed question? How do you view the scenario? Read the posed question and my response down in the comment section below to form your opinion:

POSED QUESTION:

“Why is my “friend” so passive aggressive with me, super critical of me, but also always copying me? It’s so weird. How do I confront her?”

By Brittney Coleman

MY RESPONSE:

“Many say that imitating a person is the highest form of flattery. I know that adding critical thoughts can make it confusing. Jealousy and the need to follow a person’s example can be very conflicting behaviors. The other saying that applies is, “a hurt dog hollers”. People who are super critical sometimes have had bad past experiences with people who criticize them or they have poor self esteem. They learn, such as in childhood, that criticizing people is normal behavior. It is possible that she may not even realize that she is being hurtful. She may view it as she is helping you out, via pointing out flaws that you need to correct in her eyes. A miserable person will lash out like a hurt dog. Ask yourself how does she handle criticism? If she takes the data in like normal without any emotion or skipping a beat, she is just accustomed to being criticized as just a normal thing. She learned in her childhood that criticism is normal behavior. If she gets easily offended, then it is not a normal thing that she learned. If that is the case, it makes sense that the root of her criticism may be in an effort to evoke a response out of you. She may have some previously unsaid issues with you that explain her passive aggressive approach with you. She may not feel comfortable speaking with you about her issues that she has with you. It may even be a misunderstanding or could be jealousy. The bad part with communication is that once words are said, they cannot be erased from another person’s mind. It is up to you as to whether or not you confront her. You can ask her if she has any issues with you? You can express that you feel like you may have offended her in some way and you are not sure when or how. If you can’t verbalize it, then write out a letter. Make sure you tell her that you care for her (if that applies) and you want to iron out any problems that you have and move on. People will criticize others due to either wanting to tear you down or build you up. They may be building you up in their mind since they expect far more from you. Tearing down could be jealousy or a projection of their own unhappiness. I would take it as a compliment even though it is weird. I wish you much luck in tactfully sorting out any differences and finding some clarity. #ConstructionTales #VerballyDisastrous”

By Leslie M. Jasper

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-my-friend-so-passive-aggressive-with-me-super-critical-of-me-but-also-always-copying-me-It-s-so-weird-How-do-I-confront-her/answer/Leslie-Jasper-3?prompt_topic_bio=1

Thanks for dropping those previous boring tasks in order to come by my blog today. Let me know your thoughts? Now that I’m considered to be “long in the tooth”, my advice can help someone out. That goal is to offer my input. I’m not professing to be correct. It is merely my viewpoint that was shaped by my culmination of past experiences. Perhaps you didn’t view it in the manner that I do? Drop your response down in the comment section below since epic stories are encouraged and embraced here on my website/blog. I’m sharing my latest (8) podcast episodes that come from The Verbally Disastrous Podcast, via links for Spotify & YouTube down below. If you read a Kindle, check out my newest short story release that belongs to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library short story series on Amazon down below. This new short story #11 is entitled, “Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools”. This short story covers my life as a widowed, single mother in the era when I juggled both motherhood and my career as a journeywoman electrician. The previous short story is #10 is entitled, “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. If anyone has read any of my other previous short stories, by all means, let me know what you think? Check out the links for my book #ConstructionTales down below. I’m at work trying to keep looking busy!! Have a productive Tuesday since we are right to the grind and at the beginning of March! I wish you a great morning/afternoon/evening on your side of the globe and a restful or productive day!

Photo Credit: Call To Action Marketing Logo- John Collazo, CEO

U.S.A.: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

United Kingdom: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

France, Belgium, Switzerland: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

Germany, Austria, Switzerland: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

Verbally Disastrous-On Spotify

Verbally Disastrous Season #1, Ep. #41: Part A- Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Season #1, Ep. #42: Part B- Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #43: Part A- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #44: Part B- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #45: Part C- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #2, Episode #46: Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice On YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Podcast! S#2, Ep. #47: Part A- Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Podcast! S#2, Ep. #48: Part B- Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools on YouTube:

I recently shared my latest short story that has been loaded up to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library on Amazon. This is short story #11 entitled, “Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools”. This short story covers my life as a widowed, single mother in the era when I juggled both motherhood and my career as a journeywoman electrician. I share the various challenges I faced and lessons learned along the way. The previous short story is entitled: #10: “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. I decided to write about some life lessons such as guarding your personal information, managing nasty rumors, combating sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and racism. Overall, the construction culture has improved dramatically over the past 25-years. Developing both a thick skin and a sharp tongue are key tools needed to survive various jobsite antics. I hope you learn something from this short story. There are more to come. These short stories are now also available as Verbally Disastrous podcast episodes.

Construction Tales- Told By A Woman: (11) Kindle Vella Short Stories On Amazon!!

The Verbally Disastrous Store On Tee-Spring:

The Verbally Disastrous Store On Tee-Spring

https://my-store-c1f946.creator-spring.com

Cheers!
Leslie M. Jasper

-Author And Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on many platforms that include: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Reason, Soundcloud, Soundtrap, Spotify, Stitcher, Tune In, and YouTube.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast And Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Reason, Soundcloud, Spotify, Stitcher, and Tune In.

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