Advice: Is Forgiveness An Act Or A Process?

Hello Everyone!

How is your Tuesday working out for you my friend!? How’s it going on your side of the globe today? We had some major action poppin’ off in the job world that occupied a significant portion of my day. I’m appreciating this ongoing work experience. Projects with good co-workers helps to make the work week more tolerable. My pal “stock broker” Eric is on another project. He reaches out since he misses his homies! The new fella is no where near as fun as our stock broker pal. However, we shall give him time to get acclimated. Perhaps his personality is delayed and will come out shining once he is comfortable. However, I have my doubts on that one. I shall remain open minded nonetheless. 🙂 Why not mention for the millionth and one time that my first children’s book entitled, “Not All Girls Play With Dolls” is now live on Amazon in both paperback and as a Kindle, an iTunes e-book, and for Nook via Barnes & Noble!! As of today, the Barnes & Noble Nook e-book is STILL pending approval!! I’m frustrated that the book has been in the review process for quite awhile now. For this blog post, I’m dishing out some more Quora advice. This is that advice that you had no idea that you needed (chuckle). This piece of advice is on the topic of forgiveness. Diving even deeper, is forgiveness an act or a process? I wholeheartedly side with the idea that forgiveness is a process with varying durations. I’m sure that, for minor brushes with conflict, the impacted party can quickly forgive and move onto what’s for lunch. For other folks, even the smallest infractions will put them into a mental prison for an extended period of time. Forgiveness is a choice to be made for the person inflicted and not so much the offending party. It’s safe to assume that the only thing the offender feels is some temporary guilt and/or shame from their part. Those feelings are momentary and then the offender moves on. Well, why don’t you release those emotions and move on as well?? The only person stuck in mental hell is the person impacted by another’s person’s shitty behavior. Free yourself mentally with starting the forgiveness process. I am personally not a grudge holder. However, I know of people who hold onto bad stuff for many years! You have to ask yourself why?? What purpose does holding a grudge serve?? My father was a dude who held onto anger for a long ass time! He probably held on so long, he forgot the details of the incident.. lol!! You lose a lot of precious time with family members by holding onto grudges and not working things out. When he got angry, it was a volcanic eruption!! Like it or not, holding onto grudges will only serve to add fuel to the pettiest of future fires. Do yourself and everyone around you in throwing distance a favor and let go of anything that stunts our growth and gets in the way of your happiness. I’ve always preached that “success is the best revenge”. I’ve always told my sons and their friends that success is the best revenge. The goal in life is to where you are waking up each day relatively happy and with great purpose; you are then winning at life! Some people will do things to you with the intent on damaging you emotionally. The saying “misery loves company” applies here. I love hearing success stories where people emerge from the ashes as a happy, healthy soul with no lingering emotional hang ups. It’s wise to work hard to take away the power a person tries to have over you with emotional stress. This life is incredibly short and it absolutely flies by. This is especially true the older you get. Therefore, let go of anything that doesn’t serve you well and instead keeps you up at night. You have to figure out what will cause you to release the pain and then do it. Wake up each day choosing to be happy and do what it takes to accomplish that goal. Use humor as a tool and surround yourself with good people who also seek happiness. Perhaps you think that I’m selling you a pipe dream? You are not capable of escaping mental turmoil. Well, take one day at a time, my friend. Find something that makes you laugh and elevates your mood each day. Write out those long and short term goals and work to scratch them each off the paper. Happy people have a plan and they let go what is not mentally healthy for them. What is your take on the choice of forgiveness? If you have a totally different thought process on forgiveness, by all means share it. You can easily share your perspective by dropping it down in the comment section below. Now, without thinking further, go ahead and check out the question and my response down below:

POSED QUESTION:

“What is meant by the phrase, ‘Forgiveness is not an act, but rather, a process’?”

By Rick Wilz

MY RESPONSE:

“I agree that forgiveness is not an act but more like a slow process. Once a person does something offensive, it takes time for the person being impacted to process the poor words/behavior. Sometimes, it takes a significant amount of time to mentally calculate the emotional toll while processing and sorting through the emotional fallout. If the choice is made to forgive the other party, that is not a one and done event. Having the capacity to forgive and let go through such deep, emotional pain takes some time. This is especially true when one is closer to the day of impact. One’s emotions are at the highest when closest to the day of offense. Time is indeed your friend in this situation. As time passes, the emotional gravity lessens as each day passes. Hopefully, there is not another event to bring up the flood of raw emotions up to the surface once again. One has to consistently remain in the mindset of desiring to let go the emotional chains in order that harnesses the person’s mind to the impact. At any time, the person forgiving can regress and go right back into the pits of anger and despair. The act of forgiving is not so much letting the other party off the hook. At the time, it feels like you are giving the offender a pass. Meanwhile, the forgiver must consider that the only thing the offender may feel is regret or shame that most certainly fades over time. The forgiver is the one stuck holding onto those emotions. Therefore, it is time to work on letting it go. One needs to consider that those emotions are not worth holding onto either. In a sense, those emotions hold a tremendous amount of power over the person impacted. Allowing themselves to hold onto those emotions is like extending the punishment. Forgiving is metaphorically an eviction notice in the mind where the conflict takes up mental space as a squatter. Once evicted, forgiveness helps to gradually free the mind of the person. Being able to free up the mind from mental turmoil is rather liberating. Letting go of emotional pain is a slow process yet highly rewarding. Everyone is different with the durations of their forgiving process. Holding onto pain and refusing to forgive only hurts the person harboring the pent up angst. I don’t believe that it is physically healthy for the person refusing to forgive. It’s possible to get ulcers and other health ailments from continuing to harbor negative emotions. Making the choice to forgive isn’t easy since high emotions are difficult to shed. If you have other people in your life who also hurt you, those emotional forces can combine and can feel like the weight of the world is on the shoulders. Holding anger on your heart can make it tough for the person to function in other aspects of their life. May you think about how your actions will impact the lives of others. May you have much luck and success with choosing forgiveness and maintain your happiness in this life that is very short! #ConstructionTales #VerballyDisastrous #NotAllGirlsPlayWithDolls”

By Leslie M. Jasper

https://www.quora.com/What-is-meant-by-the-phrase-Forgiveness-is-not-an-act-but-rather-a-process/answer/Leslie-Jasper-3?prompt_topic_bio=1

I appreciate you swinging by like Tarzan onto my advice post today. Hopefully, you appreciate the mental visual of that metaphor as much as I do. What comes to mind when you think about the forgiveness process? The choice on how to proceed in your life with the forgiveness of others must be considered. It’s obviously your choice as to if you choose to forgive or harbor those emotions. I just hope that you find comfort in your choice one way or another. I personally don’t want to have anyone live rent free in my head. No matter how painful and offensive, I want to release it as soon as possible. I believe firmly in being happy and that happiness is the best revenge. Let me know, in the comment section below, if you either like or dislike my advice? Make sure to explain exactly as to your position so that I may gain an understanding. I’m interested in hearing the perspectives of others on this topic or any other one. I’m also sharing my latest (8) podcast episodes that are listed down below from The Verbally Disastrous Podcast, via links for Spotify & YouTube down below. If you are into reading on a Kindle, check out my newest short story release that belongs to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library short story series on Amazon down below. This new short story #11 is entitled, “Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools”. This short story covers my life as a widowed, single mother in the era when I juggled both motherhood and my career as a journeywoman electrician. The previous short story is #10 is entitled, “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. If anyone has read any of my other previous short stories, by all means, let me know what you think? Check out the links for my book #ConstructionTales down below. I’m sharing with you some advice posts while juggling my work duties. Now, let’s carry on with our Tuesday during our ongoing work week. I wish you a great morning/afternoon/evening on your side of the globe and a restful or productive day!

Photo Credit: Call To Action Marketing Logo- John Collazo, CEO

Link To Construction Tales: Volume I: A Woman’s Journey To Become An Electrician (Paperback & Kindle) On Amazon:

Link To Construction Tales: A Young Person’s Guide To Accomplish Anything In Life (Paperback & Kindle) On Amazon:

U.S.A.: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

United Kingdom: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

France, Belgium, Switzerland: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

Germany, Austria, Switzerland: Use This Link For The Audio Version Of My Book #ConstructionTales On Audible:

VERBALLY DISASTROUS PODCAST EPISODE LINKS:

Here is the link to the Verbally Disastrous Podcast on Spotify:

Verbally Disastrous-On Spotify

Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #43: Part A- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #44: Part B- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #45: Part C- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous! Season #2, Episode #46:Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice On YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Podcast! S#2, Ep. #47: Part A- Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Podcast! S#2, Ep. #48: Part B- Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Podcast- S#2, Episode #49: Just Released Not All Girls Play With Dolls!! on YouTube:

Verbally Disastrous Podcast- S#2, Episode #50: My First 7 Weeks As A Site Safety Manager on YouTube:

I recently shared my latest short story that has been loaded up to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library on Amazon. This is short story #11 entitled, “Juggling Motherhood & Working With The Tools”. This short story covers my life as a widowed, single mother in the era when I juggled both motherhood and my career as a journeywoman electrician. I share the various challenges I faced and lessons learned along the way. The previous short story is entitled: #10: “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. I decided to write about some life lessons such as guarding your personal information, managing nasty rumors, combating sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and racism. Overall, the construction culture has improved dramatically over the past 25-years. Developing both a thick skin and a sharp tongue are key tools needed to survive various jobsite antics. I hope you learn something from this short story. There are more to come. These short stories are now also available as Verbally Disastrous podcast episodes.

Construction Tales- Told By A Woman: (11) Kindle Vella Short Stories On Amazon!!

The Verbally Disastrous Store On Tee-Spring:

The Verbally Disastrous Store On Tee-Spring

https://my-store-c1f946.creator-spring.com

Cheers!
Leslie M. Jasper

-Author And Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on many platforms that include: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Reason, Soundcloud, Soundtrap, Spotify, Stitcher, Tune In, and YouTube.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast And Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Reason, Soundcloud, Spotify, Stitcher, and Tune In.

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