Hello Everyone!
How are you spending your time on your Wednesday evening!? It’s raining cats and dogs today here in New York City. I hear that snow is coming. In light of people getting sick at an exponential rate lately, I hope you have a safe, happy, and healthy year. Try your best to not get sick and stay healthy. I just released today my tenth short story onto my Kindle Vella Library. This short story #10 is entitled, “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. I wrote about some first encounters and some vital life lessons learned when I first got into the business as an apprentice. I’m maxed out with 5,000 words for the short story. Therefore, I’m sure I will expand further on the early life lessons. I spoke about encountering racism, sexism, along with learning to not be so free with sharing my personal information. I learned to develop thick skin and have a razor sharp tongue to battle jobsite banter with a quick retort. Many of my short stories will also morph into podcast episodes. I found another interesting question from Quora so that we chew on the details all together. This chosen topic is about the meaning behind sharing that, “someone is good looking but isn’t very engaging or lacks personality”. I decided to also tackle this question by thinking about what I would do if I was on either side of this situation. It would be painful feedback to receive and rather rough to deliver to another person. We are missing the reason as to why it was even said in the first place. If the person delivering it for a reaction, I’m sure they got what they went looking for. Anyone who offers feedback just to hurt another person is just a complete ass. If they are doing it as an open and honest communication, then I understand the truth can sting a little. If the person was cornered into delivering the feedback, then the person got what they came looking for in the first place. Hopefully, the person will get past being butt hurt by this small dose of honesty and work to do better in the future. I remember as a kid to be constantly told to always tell the truth. As an adult, you learn that telling the truth can be perceived as mean spirited. When sharing a slice of honesty, you need to assess whether or not it is a good idea to proceed further. Sometimes you have to assess whether or not the honest feedback will evoke change. If not, perhaps it is wise to withhold the feedback. Let me know what you think about the question and my response? Is this the same approach you would take? If not, how different would your approach be? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section down below. Now, here is the posed question and my response listed below:
POSED QUESTION:
“What does it mean when someone says someone is good looking but isn’t very engaging or lacks personality?”
By Michael Okeke
MY RESPONSE:
“Oh boy, that’s somewhat of a back handed compliment. The comment of a person’s looks is considered a compliment. However, when a person isn’t engaging, it means that they are not appearing to be as interested with investing the time with an ongoing dialogue with the other person. It is difficult to get to know another person without immersing yourself in a back and forth dialogue. A great personality is utilized in conjunction with engaging the dialogue. This magical mix will work to keep the other party interested in continuing the conversation. They also work together to signal to the other party that you are interested in continuing the discussion. While good looks get you in the door, it is a great personality with a very interested person keeps you in a situation with another person and/or group. It’s as if you need the entire arsenal of social ingredients to make a relationship function in the long term. When I say a back handed compliment, it feels as if the writer leads with a huge compliment regarding the person’s physical appearance. As soon as the compliment is offered, it was then followed up with two very important qualities that were hugely deficient. I imagine that the good quality was presented first followed by the two bad qualities were intended to soften the blow. One has to ask what was the purpose of highlighting this array of good and bad qualities? Did the person who possesses the qualities ask for feedback? If the person didn’t ask for feedback, why was this assessment offered? Is the root of the delivery because the presenter wanted to inform the person of where they stand? Is the presenter trying to inform the person their qualities in an effort to map out why they have stepped back from communication? Was the presenter cornered into the discussion that revealed what was on their heart? We are missing context as to why this phrase was shared with the person who owns those qualities. What does the person owning the qualities do with this information? They either use it as the cue to fall back and stop communicating or vow to work on becoming better at being engaging and showcasing more of their personality. Hopefully, the person owning the qualities will take the feedback on the chin and work to do better. If not with the person presenting feedback but with people in the future. Although, I would understand if the person didn’t take the feedback too kindly. Then again, can you really craft a great personality after previously possessing a bland one? I’m not sure if personalities can be shifted to become more grand or fun in nature or a person must work with what they have already. I wish you much success and luck with navigating around people with various good and bad qualities.”
By Leslie M. Jasper
I thank you for dedicating a small slice of your precious time to make a pit stop over here on my blog. As always, let me know your thoughts on my interpretation of the feedback in the comment section below. I’m sharing my latest (7) podcast episodes that are listed down below from The Verbally Disastrous Podcast, via links for Spotify & YouTube down below. If you are into reading on a Kindle, check out my newest short story release that belongs to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library short story series on Amazon down below. Short story #10 is entitled, “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. I released short story #10 and I’m waiting for it to go live. If anyone has read any of my other short stories, by all means, let me know what you think? I have some irons in the fire as far as some more upcoming podcast guests for the first few months of 2022. I even have an acquaintance who is a practicing Satanist. I’m curious as to his/her path from transitioning from being a Catholic to a Satanist. I have sent out the questions so he/she can prepare for the interview. I need more time to heal up from this illness since speaking is tough without coughing. Therefore, I am pushing the interview out towards the next upcoming two weeks. Melissa and I need to find time to discuss our impending topic on our most embarrassing moments. It’s now time for me to work on some projects that have been on the back burner. Now go carry on with your Wednesday schedule now that we have reached the hump day of the work week. I wish you a great morning/afternoon/evening on your side of the globe and a restful or productive day!
The Verbally Disastrous Store On Tee-Spring:
https://my-store-c1f946.creator-spring.com
Here is the link to the Verbally Disastrous Podcast on Spotify:
Verbally Disastrous Presents- Season #1, Episode #39: Part A-Most Random Encounters!! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Presents- Season #1, Episode #40: Part B-Most Random Encounters!! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Season #1, Ep. #41: Part A- Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous Season #1, Ep. #42: Part B- Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #43: Part A- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #44: Part B- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:
Verbally Disastrous! Season #1, Episode #45: Part C- Tramping In Cali! on YouTube:
I just shared my latest short story that has been loaded up to my Construction Tales-Told By A Woman Kindle Vella Library on Amazon. This is short story #10 entitled, “Early Life Lessons & Characters To Meet As An Apprentice”. This short story covers some initial life lessons such as guarding your personal information, managing nasty rumors, combating sexual harassment, gender discrimination, and racism. Overall, the construction culture has improved dramatically over the past 25-years. Developing both a thick skin and a sharp tongue are key tools needed to survive various jobsite antics. The previous short story is entitled: #9: “I’m Working On The Railroad With The Tools As A Chick!”. I decided to write about some stories from when I worked with the tools on the railroad. I shared a story of saving a co-worker from a near death experience! I hope you learn something from this short story. There are more to come. This short story is now also available as (2) Verbally Disastrous podcast episodes.
Construction Tales- Told By A Woman: (10) Kindle Vella Short Stories On Amazon!!
The Photacular Imagery Website- By Photography Artist Brian Reyes:
https://www.photacularimagery.com/
Cheers!
Leslie M. Jasper
-Author And Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on many platforms that include: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Reason, Soundcloud, Soundtrap, Spotify, Stitcher, Tune In, and YouTube.
-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast And Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Acast, Amazon Music, Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Deezer, Google Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Pandora Podcasts, Player FM, Pocket Casts, Pod Bean, Podchaser, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Radio Public, Reason, Soundcloud, Spotify, Stitcher, and Tune In.
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Leslie's Verbally Disastrous Podcast & #ConstructionTales Blog 