Hello Everyone!

I am hanging out with my buddies at one of my friend’s beach house at Seaside Heights at the New Jersey Shore. Once I woke up this morning, I start the day by chilling out until everyone is ready to go out. I opened up my computer to review some more questions. I stumbled upon this odd question with nothing further for context on Quora. I am totally clueless as to what it means yet I am determined to tackle it and figure it out. I have never crossed this term in my entire life. Since I am a curious person, it is time to research the topic and share what I find. I looked it up and it refers to a rule for marriages within the Islam religion. After reading the first sentence, I was very prejudice about the topic. I sensed that this lifestyle choice would negatively impact either the husband or wife in a marriage prior to researching. Also initially, I was pretty sure that it would further impact the wife. In Islam, ‘halala’ is a term that finds its roots in ‘halal’ that translates to ‘something that is permissible’, and therefore ‘lawful’. In the context of marriage, it means that a divorced woman can then become ‘halal’ (lawful) for her husband again. This is after nikah halala is complete. This transaction already sounds shady as hell and manipulative in nature. Let’s dig deeper into the research and see what these shenanigans are all about!

Islam offers guidance where a Muslim man has the option to divorce and remarry the same woman up to three times. I learned that a religious institution set up rules for how husbands and wives can conduct themselves when they marry and divorce multiple times. According to my research where I searched for information, the third time is the “charm”. Three times is the maximum amount of times a couple can go back and forth with each other in a marriage. One religious requirement, that applies to women, imposes a limit on the reasons for a divorce. Divorce is only possible when either the husband dies or if he asks for divorce. Under only these conditions, the woman is allowed to go back to her first husband and remarry him. I am trying to understand why this process is even beneficial in a marriage?? I also wonder why people choose to repeatedly marry and divorce?? On the surface, this sounds like some undecisive or volatile couples. People who are a hot mess and do not have their act together. If I am divorcing someone, my mind is made up and I am not going back to marry the dude a second time. If you annoy me to the point of a divorce, there is no turning back. I am grateful that I do not have to financially rely on a man.

Now my initial perception believed that this religious principle is much harsher than it actually is in reality. In fact, it is designed to keep a husband from marrying and divorcing his wife a bunch of times. I am honestly humored by what must happen for the man to be able to re-marry the ex-wife a third time! In order to re-marry an ex-wife for a third time, the ex-wife must marry another man, have sex with the new husband, and then she can get a divorce. Once the divorce is finalized, the exes can get back together to marry for the third and final time. Would it be worth it to you to get married for the third time?!? I live under a rock regarding this type of torture that was used in a marriage. I just learned that men use divorce as a means of torture against the wife. I am sure that this is not just practiced within the Islamic community. To be clear, this barbaric practice was a pre-Islamic tool husbands used to evoke on their wives to get their attention. Who would think that this is morally correct to do? Another assumption I made was that the wives being punished were not able to part ways permanently to find a much kinder husband. I see that I am wrong and that they have other options if the husband dies or agrees to a divorce. I am sure women didn’t have many options prior to the establishment of the religious doctrine. I cannot possibly imagine enduring continuous threats of divorce, it actually happening, and the only option is to go back to the same old jerk. I do not blame women for choosing to just stay broke, single, and even become a beggar in the street!!

I am way too stubborn and set in my ways to abide by that type of abuse from any man. Then again, why be so cruel to the person closest to you? The person who shares your bed. I understand being upset about someone’s poor behavior and wanting to motivate them to do better. However, going all of the way to file for divorce with the intention of re-marrying is cruel. The punishment far exceeds the crime. The poor wife who endures this must have huge stains on her heart that can never be erased. A husband who doesn’t understand the impact of his actions is a loser. I would love to hear from anyone who is very familiar with this religious practice? How many people do you know have married for the third time? Other than celebrities, I can’t think of a single person I know has been married twice. Three times to re-marry seems absolutely insane to me! I barely want to even marry a man the first time. The last time I got married, I was 18-years old. These days, a marriage is considered a business deal. You must be cautious who you marry. A bad marriage can ruin you financially. A bad marriage can result in you losing half your pension and/or life savings. I would feel that a marriage that is always on the brink of threat of divorce, is an emotional roller coaster. Who the hell wants to be in a constant state of dread and fear of disrupting their entire home life, finances, dynamics. Never mind the feelings of an adult. How does this immature nonsense impact the lives of the children!??! Constantly threatening divorce is a tumultuous home environment that children do not deserve.

I have always viewed the husband as the leader of the household. Instilling constant fear into his family is selfish behavior. There are a million ways to handle a relationship without dragging the entire family into the problem. Have you ever heard of this type of religious doctrine? What do you think about it? Did it really work to reduce mass chaos in families? Can you share an anonymous story to share? Do you know of a different doctrine that is just as odd as Nikah Halala? Leave it in the comments below. It is now time to go out and hang out in the decent weather today. It is supposed to be almost 80 degrees Fahrenheit here on the New Jersey Shore. I was writing this while I was listening to music and talking to the group. They laugh at me that I have the laptop open and writing while we are all chilling out listening to music. The best part is I don’t miss out on the conversation. I obviously like to write if I do it while I am hanging out with friends. Thanks for stopping by to read my odd chosen topic of the day! I wish you a wonderful Sunday either solo or with friends and/or family. I shall harass you all very soon with another weird topic!! 😛

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

Here is the link to the Quora Page:

https://www.quora.com/Im-a-14-yd-female-and-I-like-a-guy-and-he-like-me-to-but-every-time-I-see-him-I-keep-running-away-and-my-sister-said-that-I-m-being-childish-and-that-I-will-make-him-feel-that-I-don-t-want-to-communicate-with-him/answer/Leslie-Jasper-3?filter=all&nsrc=notif_page&sncid=14587495766&snid3=20668843507

Hello Everyone!

I am hanging out with my friends at on of my friend’s beach house at Seaside Heights at the New Jersey Shore. Prior to carpooling down with my pals, I stumbled upon this question on Quora. A 14-year old young lady posed a question about running away from young boys. The young lady gets pressure from her sister for running away. Her issue so resembles how I was at her age. I was terribly shy and avoided young men while in school. I still feel awkward about new relationships years later. Here is the posed question and my response below:

QUESTION:

“I’m a 14 yr female and I like a guy and he like me to but every time I see him I keep running away and my sister said that I’m being childish and that I will make him feel that I don’t want to communicate with him. What do I do?“

MY RESPONSE:

“OMG!! You sound like my former self at your age!! I was so ridiculously shy, I would run from boys I thought were handsome. Especially if a friend was trying to make a match with me and my crush. I was so overwhelmed and overstimulated, I couldn’t process what was going on emotionally. It made me uncomfortable and I needed to take it slow and get to know the young man. It was a fear and anxiety that I couldn’t control. I believe I also feared a possibility of rejection. My early shyness helped me avoid getting involved with too many men. I kind of think it is a good quality to have as a young woman. It will prevent you from having many meaningless relationships. I used to communicate my issue, give fair warning, with the young man in the very beginning of the relationship. I would say that I like you yet I am extremely shy. I need to get to know you and my shyness will fade in time. The young man would be cool with the situation and go at my pace. Relationships do not come with a map and a person to guide us. Go with the flow, communicate your issue upfront and how you feel in the stages that come, and take it slow. If a young man is in a rush, he can go elsewhere. Listen to your instincts, known as your gut. If you can’t shake a bad feeling about a young man, listen to your gut and back away. Your intuition will help you avoid bad situations and/or save your life. The world is your oyster and you have many great choices to pursue. Take your time and choose thoughtfully, cautiously, and wisely. I wish you luck!!”

I sincerely hope that a young woman who reads this will feel better about their own situation. That is my goal with any of my writings. Different people from different walks of life have these similar experiences. I will never believe shyness is a bad thing. It is not a great quality for young men since they have to go at a slower pace to achieve their end goal. 😛 Has anyone else shared the same shyness? If so, how did you conquer the issue? Share your thoughts on this topic in the comment section below. Wherever you are in the world, I thank you for stopping by and burning your precious time to read or listen to my variety of topics. It is time to go check out the boardwalk and get in some exercise while here on the Jersey Shore. I wish you a great Saturday with your family and friends!

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

https://thatsinsan.quora.com/As-a-parent-what-is-the-most-heartbreaking-thing-your-son-daughter-has-done-with-you-1?ch=8&share=2f14e483&srid=xHbbQ

Hello Everyone!

Every once in awhile, I find an article that mirrors my old struggle story from many years ago. I was sifting through random posts on Quora. I stumbled upon this post that caught my attention. The author, her name is Kris Kouba, touched briefly on her early struggles with her son in the aftermath as a fellow widow. She spoke about the extremely tight financial budget and used a few examples. She spoke about the ways she cut corners in order to survive. Additionally, Kris spoke about her son who joked about the times when the house utilities had gotten shut off, periodically from time to time, for lack of payment. Kris managed to get out of the struggle by finishing and graduating nursing school. She reflects on how her two youngest children, she has since remarried, won’t understand nor experience the struggle her eldest child endured. I appears that the family is now in a much better financial situation. On one hand, it is great to see the younger siblings get a better slice of childhood. On the other hand, Kris can’t erase the loss of her husband/dad or the struggle from her son’s memory. However, it appears that the eldest son takes the hard days in stride. He jokes with his mother about the bad moments during the old struggle. My eldest son Tom, the family called him Thomas as a child, and I sometimes joke about the hard times as well. Tom sometimes reminds me of his younger era joys that include his beloved Sega Genesis video game system. We also reflect on how Tom would chew on my hair while I took a brief nap before heading to another job. I will then tease him about how he once ate my lunch on the way to early AM daycare and I had to angrily fast that day. It has taken 25-years to be able to discuss this without experiencing a waterfall of tears that would flow down my face. Hopefully, our stories will help other women who are enduring the struggle as a single mom or a widow. Just know that you are not alone and nothing tough lasts forever. Here is Kris’ story that she shared on Quora where she touched on parts of the struggle that came after becoming a widow:

“After my first husband passed away in 2006, finances were very tight. Once a month, when we received a financial assistance check, we would drive to town for basic groceries and I would treat our 6 year old with a kids meal and play time at local fast food restaurant. I would watch and just talk with him. There were days when he would give me his fries because he knew I was hungry and we couldn’t afford for both of us to order food. Or the afternoons when I would make him a sandwich and take a bite…again I made sure he had enough to eat. He would laugh and say “Mommy takes a bite so I know its made with love”. This is my child who has held my hand as I would cry/scream in grief, would say he didn’t want big toys for Christmas/birthday and celebrated with me when I graduated from nursing school-knowing it was for his benefit. As he turned 18 this year, I get teary knowing how his life was harder than it will be for his brothers who have been born since I remarried. I cry knowing he remembers the month of 1 packet of rice, 1 can of veggies, and 1 4 oz pork chop diced up, was dinner for the 2 of us-for 2 nights. He jokes with me, each winter we no longer get our gas turned off, about no more keeping the house warm with the oven or placing blankets in front of the doors and windows, or boiling his bath water. Last year the both of us had the opportunity to spread his Dad’s ashes in a state away from our own. The sight of my tall, handsome young man spreading his dad’s ashes with his bare hands, spreading them in water, on trees and along the ground and talking to his dad the whole time, dropped me to my knees. I can not tell you how much this young man means to me, knowing how strong he is and what a survivor he has had to be”. -Kris Kouba

I felt Kris’ story reflected mine also in some ways. We both got out of our struggles by finishing our education and training. However, I only allowed myself to cry when I was alone staring up at the ceiling at night. I needed to be strong for my boy who, at the time, had yet to realize the impact of not having a dad in his life. Besides, I was way too busy working to dive into any deep thought processes. I am thankful that work served as that barrier for my thoughts. In the very beginning, I had to make $20-$30 worth of groceries last two weeks. We had eaten a ton of rice and butter, $1 boxes of cheap macaroni and cheese, cheap hot dogs, spaghetti O’s and other cheap canned goods, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, popcorn, and whatever stuff was on sale. Other than hot dogs, meat was a luxury and it didn’t come onto the table until the last 18 months of my apprenticeship. I consider the art of tight budgeting as a necessary life skill if I am ever forced to do it again in the future. Yes, I am aware that the American “struggle” is something people do in other parts of the world as their “normal”. I do find myself frustrated when I hear foreigners assume that all Americans are “rich”. Many of us work like dogs and never get to take vacations and hardly see our families. I had to come to work a few times sick, including a 103 degree Fahrenheit fever, early in my career. If I missed a day, I didn’t make any money that week and it all went to the babysitter. I grew up as a poor kid out in Oregon so the struggle wasn’t considered new. I didn’t fully know about my level of poverty as a kid. Therefore, being broke was not a culture shock to me as an adult.

My extremely high carb diet indeed made me gain some unwanted weight over the years. The good thing was that I was using some carbs while I was expending energy with physical work as an apprentice as well as the process of getting between jobs and back home burned a lot of energy. I have somewhat worn out my body from years of working. I walked quite a few miles to get back and forth to work. In my early years, I tried to work as many hours as what was available. I was too prideful, I got that from my father, and refused to take handouts. You couldn’t pay me enough money to go back to the post widow era. I certainly do not have the energy to do that hectic schedule today. My eldest son, who now goes by the name Tom, had a decent amount of toys given to him, via his family around the holidays. He received quite a few hand me downs from friends and family. I am grateful for anything that was offered to me on his behalf. I know Tom struggled in ways that I may not fully grasp having zero access to his father from a 18 month toddler and onward. Not enough people think about or prepare for the impact of a death of a parent in a household with young children. It was not spoken about or suggested as a reality. I sure wish I had thought of it to plan properly for a worst case scenario. Then again, I didn’t have anyone in my life to talk to me about being an adult. Hopefully, my writings can serve as some experience that helps some people as a virtual mentor. For my family and legacy, the story has been told and written down.

When you are a young teenager who falls madly in love super fast and gets married, the last thing you think about is losing your life partner to a motorcycle accident. I got married while still in the military at 18-years old while my husband Jimmy was 20-years old. I came from a coastal town in Oregon and Jimmy came from the suburbs of New York City. We had this once in a lifetime kind of instant chemistry from the moment we both met while serving in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. In hindsight, we moved way too fast in our relationship!! However, there was nothing that was going to stop me from this intense connection. It appeared that my mother-in-law could not talk any sense into Jimmy either. Like any relationship, it was young, passionate, and consisted of a roller coaster of emotions with the severe ups and downs. Jimmy was getting out on medical from the U.S. Marines and heading back to New York. I had to follow him to start our new life together. So, I requested to leave from the chain of command, got approved, and honorably discharged from the U.S. Navy Seabees. This new revelation shocked my family out in Oregon!! In hindsight, I would have been shocked if I were my family as well. Once out of the military, I had my son Thomas and we settled with his parents in the suburbs. The goal was to get our own house. I had to figure out life in a new town with zero family and friends. I needed to develop a relationship with my in-laws and extended family. To this day, I consider my in-laws like my parents and I am close with the entire family. Both of my parents are deceased on my end. I wasn’t really the type of person who had a ton of friends so the adjustment to a new world wasn’t too extreme. I felt like once we came to New York, Jimmy ditched me and baby Thomas to go hang out with his friends. He then went to go buy a motorcycle without talking to me about it. After a series of events, I then had some regrets with my life decisions. Getting married when you are very young and immature is not a good idea. Do not do this at home people!

I started my electrical theory classes for my apprenticeship in January of 1996. I started working on the job training the month prior in December of 1995. I decided to work some extra hours by the summer of 1996 to catch up with some extra money. The babysitter took a lot of my money so I needed to work more hours. I took advantage of the time since electrical theory classes and college for my Business Administration degree were not required in the summer. By August 23, 1996, I was at the summer job working. I didn’t have a cell phone back in those days either. Come to think about it, that was a peaceful thing not having a phone. Well…moving on with the story. I get the call to come to my in-laws house by my father-in-law Chris. I was confused since I didn’t understand why they were asking me repeatedly to drop what I was doing and come to their house. I hear some yelling and screaming in the background. Chris finally caved, since I was being too damn stubborn and worried about leaving my second job, and dropped the bomb on me! Chris told me that Jimmy had passed away in a motorcycle accident on the way home. It was the moment where time stood still!! I was in absolute shock and launched the phone and cord into an abyss that went over a table and away from the receiver.

That indeed was the hardest, the most emotionally teary-eyed ride to my in-law’s house that I have had in my entire life. The absolute sinking in the deepest pit of my stomach, upon the realization, is something that I will never forget. I was swirling in a pool of emotions. Everything from figuring how to make it on my own to how will this impact my son to what is going to happen if…… I had just bought the house six months before. I had used my settlement proceeds, from a car accident, to buy the house. I initially felt like there was no way I can do this on my own. The mountain felt way too HIGH to climb at that moment. It didn’t help that when I told my mom and then told my dad, I didn’t the best feedback. When I reflect on it and anything else in life, they were both cold and distant. That was just the way it was in my childhood and as adults. My dad told me, “what do you want from me? I didn’t really know the guy”. This was the very first time in my life that I screamed and cursed my father up and down. I normally feared him; not today though. I then realized that my family were not supportive nor did they care. Par for the course.

I got into a groove with the work, apprentice school, and college schedule. I had started an associate degree in Business Administration the year before my husband’s accident. I was determined to finish the classes and graduate. I prayed to God that my automobile would not break down on me. Those prayers only lasted for a little while. My first year apprentice chariot was a grey 1989 Chevy Cavalier. My “hooptie” had a smashed passenger side headlight, it started up with vise grips, and had over 235,000 miles on it. Once the grey beast surrendered with transmission issues in the driveway, I had to get another car. I had to search high and low to get another car. I got denied by plenty of auto dealers for both bad and no credit. I finally found an auto dealer that sold me a Ford Escort in exchange for around 33% interest on the car loan. Once I paid that car off, I was happy. I then get rear ended and that accident totaled the car! Talk about total frustration!! The next car, it was a Mercury Tracer, I had gotten after the collision was for 18% interest. It is those past life events that push me to keep a hold of stellar credit today! It took quite a few months to get the used Ford Escort vehicle. Sadly, I was stranded in the meantime and relying heavily on generous people or my feet.

I didn’t have the funds for a down payment and the Cavalier was worth nothing for a trade in. My son’s cousins stepped up to gift me a down payment. For that, I am eternally grateful. I never forgot that! The cousins also helped me with holding onto Thomas for about nine months so I could work a lot and catch up. However, Thomas put a monkey wrench in the plan and he came home earlier than planned. Thomas missed me terribly, acted up, and it was time for him to come back. I also relied on the kindness of my fellow electrician brothers and a sister on the jobsite to either get me to work, between jobs, and back home. I had an air mattress on the floor, in my bedroom, when I bought my house along with Thomas’ crib and dresser. Each house item was put on layaway and slowly paid on each week until I fully purchased the items. It was such a joy when I was able to bring each item home from the store. I didn’t even think about dating during that time. I felt too tired and had too much on my plate. I remember Thomas really wanting for me to date and find him a “dad”. He even yanked on a man’s coat one time in a convenience store when he was about 4 to 5-years old. When the man turned around, he said, “Hey! You want my mother’s phone number? It is *(914) 222-2222*”. I was so shocked and embarrassed!! The man was kind, smiled, and walked away. He was looking up at me smiling as if letting me know he was just trying to help. I know he wanted to fill the void. However, I had intensely feared getting involved with a person and them also dying on me. Yes, I know it is a ridiculous fear. I also felt like men my same age would not want to be serious or saddled with a child; regardless of the circumstances. I didn’t want to waste time so I opened up, at some point, to dating guys in their 30’s and older.

Life started getting better financially for us when I sat for the Connecticut E-2 electrical license and passed it the first time around. I had a lot riding on passing this exam that was about two hours away. Passing it meant a big pay increase. It also meant that I no longer needed a second job. I studied as often as I could. I always had flashcards in the back pocket. Life was already tough under the circumstances and my son’s behavior made life a lot harder. Thomas’ bad behavior at school and daycare made this tough journey a whole lot more grittier to manage. I had more crying episodes late at night out of sheer frustration. His ADHD behavior required for him to go into special education. The school was pushing real hard to put him on medication. I first allowed it out of fear of him getting kicked out of school. Once I learned about the (IEP) Individualized Educational Plan and that they can’t kick him out of school, I dropped the medication. I fought the school system and refused to keep medicating him with Ritalin and some other behavior modification drugs. I thought it changed his behavior and made him a shell of his former self. By the time Thomas reached 5-years old, he managed to get kicked out of every local daycare in town. I found a woman 35 minutes away from the house that was able to endure Thomas’ behavior from age 5 to 11-years old. She was a life savior after dealing with people who kept kicking him out of daycare. This added an extra hour to my commute and hours during snowstorms. In hindsight, I think he figured if he acted up enough, it would force the school to remove him from school and I would quit my job and be just home with him all day. The school could not believe that he didn’t act up when he was at home. He was content and exactly where he wanted to be. I still have his stack of paperwork from his bad behavior over the years in school and in daycare. I will share with him when he buys his first house so he can store it and reflect in the future when he has his own children. I often joke with him that he will end up with a few terrors of his own. He will have to remember he acted up as a kid and not be so hard on them.

When I had chats with Tom about how he feels about not having a father growing up, I get it that the loss goes deeper than what he can verbalize. The void was temporarily filled with a “step dad”. However, the man ended up disappointing him via not stepping up to the plate for events to support him. For an example, it was his choice to stay home and be lazy and not bother with attending Thomas’ sporting events. I attended his events like clockwork. One day he shared with me his feelings. He said, “I love that you come each Sunday during the season. However, I really wanted him to show up”. Step dad managed to do a few other things to alienate himself from Thomas over the years as well. There are many lessons, no matter how good the intention, that could have been better taught by his father and not his mother. I learned and passed onto Tom a lot of things from asking guys at work during coffee break. I have a funny detail about bathroom habits that I didn’t actually know about men as a young mom. I was potty training Thomas and told him to urinate first then go #2 (pooh) afterwards. One day I walked by the bathroom and saw Thomas in the bathroom with the door open. He was in the middle of standing up and peeing while pooping in his pants that were around his ankles! I was like, “oh no!” I made him take a bath and clean up. I was at coffee break the next day at work and asked my crew the burning question that was on my mind. I couldn’t freely ask my dad those questions as a kid. I didn’t have any other peers I felt comfy asking either. I used to see urinals, as a kid, and called them “sideways bathtubs” since I didn’t know the proper name. 😛 I was around 22 to 23-years old at the time. I asked the guys, at coffee break, if they can do both bathroom functions at the same time? My rationale was that men peed first, then went to go poop afterwards. Oh boy did the room erupt in laughter!! After they caught their breathes from laughing so damn hard, they confirmed that males can do both. I was then instructed to go home and teach Thomas how to “sit and tuck”. That was an example of things that fathers teach their sons that moms may not be aware of. Today, Tom will joke around and call me on Father’s Day to say thanks. 🙂 I do appreciate the recognition.

Overall, I would say that raising a child alone is a tough job by itself. Add a heavy work & school schedule then add a long commute time; that makes life exhausting. Having no family to care about you to help makes it an even harder struggle. When I got married at 18, I didn’t sign up to be a single mom. Life showed up and challenged me with that notion for sure. I didn’t chase down a man to pay my way either. Perhaps, in hindsight, I should have been more serious abut finding a good husband. Many factors, based on life events, made me fear going in that direction. It could have either made my life much easier or harder if things didn’t work out. Then again, I didn’t cross paths with any man that was life changing either. If it didn’t happen, it wasn’t meant to be. Women need to know that daycare costs a lot no matter where you are in the world. If you are making not a good wage, most of your money goes to daycare and not your own pocket. It is very hard to dig yourself out of poverty. The only reason why I did was because I picked a good paying trade with better money at the end of the apprenticeship. I understand why continuously poor people opt to do drugs and alcohol intently. I would have been burned out doing that work grind another 15-years with no pay increase in sight. Choosing to be a single mom with a sperm donor is just foolishness!! Opting to have children late in life is just as crazy too! I did my young child rearing during my 20’s to early 30’s. I cannot imagine trying to start out in my 40’s to 50’s with small children. Not all children come out perfect either. They can end up with ailments like: ADHD, Autism, cleft palate, heart problems, seizures, missing limbs, or even totally handicapped that require a lifetime of support. If you do not have medical insurance, those costs can become astronomical!! Try your best to strategize your family plan and know you may be forced to weather the storm of unforeseen circumstances! It is time to take a breather from reading or listening. You are appreciated no matter where you are in the world. Thanks for stopping by to read HERstory! I want my great-great-great grandchildren in the future to comment on this post. You are special and you keep holding the torch for me. I wish you all a peaceful Thursday evening that leads to a great Friday and kick ass upcoming weekend!

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

*The phone number does not belong to the author*

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

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Hello Everyone!

I am sharing an odd question and the responses to the question on Quora. I responded to this question, mine is response #5, yesterday while I was on my evening walk. I am not fond of people who manipulate or play games in a relationship. Why not shoot from the hip and just be direct with what you want? There are not enough people in the world who are just honest and direct. I find a lack of honesty and communication to be highly frustrating. As of this evening, there are ten responses. I have them all quoted with the name of the author at the end of the quote. What would your answer be for this question? Leave it in the comments or write out your response in Quora. Here is the link to the Quora page if you want to review for yourself and/or respond. Check them out and see what you think:

https://www.quora.com/What-does-she-mean-when-she-says-you-should-have-chased-me-harder?filter=all&nsrc=notif_page&sncid=14446934462&snid3=20468488787

QUESTION POSED: What does she mean when she says “you should have chased me harder”?

RESPONSE #1:

“What does she mean when she says ‘you should have chased me harder’”?

“Look, she’s not flexible. She’s structured and hard headed, and has to have her own way. Love is like a back and forth dance. A good, flexible lady will get that, and won’t have a temper-tantrum if she has to chase you sometimes. You don’t want a structured lady like that, anyway. Unless you think being bossed around for the rest of your life would be enjoyable. There are a lot of miserably married guys out there. You don’t want to become one of them”. -Benjamin Moldovan

REPLY:

“All clever women that like men chasing women know that they don’t run too far ahead… if a man knows he won’t catch you… eventually he’s gonna stop trying”. -Ryan James

RESPONSE #2:

“It means she was an idiot and making you jump through hoops. There is no guarantee that if you had made even one extra phone call, it would have changed anything. You dodged a bullet. Any woman who cannot admit when they like you, will struggle to have a real conversation about anything in life, and it will be like pulling teeth to get any intimate connection. Women who are “together” and are good catches, don’t behave like this. They have no problem discussing difficult topics with ease and finesse”. -Melissa Thompson

RESPONSE #3:

“If I would have chased my high school crush harder, I would probably be married to her. But instead I believed what she told me and despaired. Now, decades later she is a widow and I have been married forty years and am a grandfather. She is still beautiful but not playing mind games on me”. -Marc McNab

RESPONSE #4:

“In the context you wrote, it seems she was playing hard to get, and you didn’t pursue her enough. She wanted you to keep chasing her until she gave in. Don’t you just hate people who play games?” -Paula Jablonka- Binder

RESPONSE #5:

“When a woman says that to a man, it could be an excuse for avoiding your advances. She is trying to reject you softly. It also could mean that your advances were not obvious enough for her to acknowledge. She didn’t take the hints that you like her. Sometimes we confuse a guy hitting on us for just being cool. This may have been overlooked and now she is dating a guy who was obvious with his interest in her. She is telling you that it is too late for a relationship since she is already in one. Next time, step up your efforts. I wish you luck!” -Leslie M. Jasper

RESPONSE #6:

“She was just using you for attention stop contacting her and move on”. -Throw Away

RESPONSE #7:

“It means don’t give into her demands and STOP CHASING HER! – A girl who is truly interested in you won’t make you jump through hoops, not even one! You are a king bro, and you deserve a queen!” -Bahaa Soliman

RESPONSE #8:

“It all depends on the female really. But off jump, I’d say, she’s meaning you should have tried harder to get her attention, to show her you were into her.” -Monika Cook

RESPONSE #9:

“If you were really interested in her you would not have given up so easy. It is like if you don’t succeed try try again.” -Creeppig

RESPONSE #10:

“You should have tried harder to get or keep her.” -Donna Marie via Attraction & Success

I see that the responses vary to a large degree. Some people suggest that the guy should have worked harder. On the other hand, others say to stop chasing the woman. I am humored by the one responder who didn’t even answer the question. Instead, he spoke about his own life with a high school crush. I giggled on that rant. I believe Benjamin’s response goes in a rather extreme direction about being hard headed and not flexible. He is running wildly with a story with limited information. What do you think about the posed question? Are you on the team of chase harder or walk away? Do you think the female was manipulative? Do you think she was just being honest with her feedback? If you have a comment on the situation, leave it down below. I would be really interested if you have a totally different unique take on this question. Wherever you rest your head in the world, I thank you for stopping by my blog to review my thoughts on the topic at hand. I am wishing you a good hump day from the streets of New York City and have a good rest of the week!

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

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Hello Everyone!

I hung out with Melissa and my sons on Sunday for dinner. I marinated some pork shoulders and a beef flank and put them in the smoker. We all hung out and tried out some White Claw tea seltzers to sip on. They are considered new and okay to drink. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the meal! I did some painting while I was there. I was stopping at Michael’s craft store for some painting items. I brought my son Johnny with me. I am walking down the aisle and I look back to see how far John was behind me. He was leaning against a column with something on his head. I guess he was standing there holding a pose waiting for me to see him. I turned around and started laughing. I decided to go ahead and record his foolery. We walked past the hula hoops bin and I told him to try again. That was an epic fail. Here are two videos of his shenanigans:

I thank you for checking out my son’s foolery. I also thank you for checking out my foolery. 😛 I have released Episode #14 just yesterday. I also have all of the episodes to date on my Verbally Disastrous YouTube channel loaded up. If you could subscribe, I will highly appreciate it. I will support your channel as well if you let me know the name. I wish you a relaxing Tuesday and the rest of the upcoming week.

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

Hello Everyone!

I realized that I was missing the intro on podcast Episode #14: How Society Divided Men and Women today. I just added it. For whatever reason, the transcription that I edited for hours disappeared. I am annoyed with that so I am not cleaning up the transcription. I may change my mind in the future when I have time. I have an issue sharing the MP4 videos to YouTube. Therefore, I had to create a slideshow and insert the audio into it and download. I was then able to load them up to YouTube. For people who do not want to use a podcast platform, you always have YouTube to check out. Here are the YouTube podcast episode videos to check out:

Season 1, Episode #11: Why I Initially Avoided Women In Construction on YouTube:

Season 1, Episode #12 Part A: How I Managed Early Construction As A Woman on YouTube:

Season 1, Episode #13 Part B: How I Managed Early Construction As A Woman on YouTube:

Season 1, Episode #14: How Society Divided Men and Women on YouTube:

I have to decide on what topic episode #15 should be on. I have some ideas but I need to narrow it down. I am planning on discussing the topic on women who chose to be childless soon. I also need to craft the questions for the episode with Kyle and House, on Second Shift Radio, on childhood memories. We need to change directions so it is not always one tone or always serious or always light hearted. I prefer the light hearted chats though. Sometimes, it is good to try different avenues in order to see what works and what doesn’t work. Feedback on this would be helpful. I am sure that will come in time. I thank you for taking a moment from your day to check out my content. You are appreciated and I wish you a good Tuesday!

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

Hello Everyone!

I spent quite a bit of time editing Episode #14! It is not perfect but I am releasing and learning as I move along in this project. The saving after recording was the first issue and I had to save individual tracks. We were recording from our individual homes and the sync feature was not working. We kept having to refresh the Soundtrap website to get it to move. We had to download our individual tracks so they didn’t disappear. The next part that made me scream was editing one track and it was erasing parts of the other track. Next problem, I also notice that there was a big issue on Melissa’s track. At the time, I didn’t realize that Melissa was recording on her end with the dryer running. It sounds a whole hell of a lot louder than it is at her house. Had I known that the dryer was running, I would have asked her to temporarily shut it off. As a new podcast platform, stupid things are happening. I am trying to not get frustrated. We are figuring out as we move along. I did a lot of editing to try to limit the amount of time you heard the dryer. Here is the link to Spotify where I just loaded it to my Anchor platform. Here is the podcast on Anchor with multiple podcast platforms of choice:

The Verbally Disastrous Podcast With Leslie M. Jasper & Melissa Polito • A podcast on Anchor

I will come up with some questions for the continuation of the conversation. I want to discuss cheating and perhaps come up with some documentation or definitions to dish with Melissa. I plan on having some ladies come on the podcast who have chosen to not have children soon. We want to ask them about their live as a childless woman. I also need to schedule Kyle and House from Second Shift Radio on Tune In for a conversation. I decided to craft that discussion on childhood memories. It can change by the time we get on the mic. I spent WAY too much time again trying to get this on live this evening so I am keeping this short. As always, thanks for stopping by and checking out my work. You are the best and you are appreciated! 😛

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

Hello Everyone!

I have to check out a podcast of a person who contacted me on Twitter this week. He/She/They retweeted one of my posts and I did the same for ’em as soon as I saw it. I appreciate support from people since I am not owed and it is kind. It was a pleasure to return the favor. I didn’t have to be asked. I find the name of the podcast to be very amusing. Perhaps this podcast group with vibe well with Melissa and I’s brand of humor. The podcast name is entitled, “Hey! Look At My Thing”. I have to ask how they came across the name. I will share with them on Twitter. *They indeed have responded down below in the comments*. I promised to check out some episodes and see if there is a viable topic where we can get together and cross promote our content. I did even better than that with this blog post. It appears that this podcast is new as well with 16 episodes. I suspect that the content is amusing so I will listen as soon as I get a chance. I have my sons coming over to have dinner tomorrow. If I remember, I will play for the group to get their input. They share my sense of humor as does Melissa. I will then offer an overview with feedback from the group. I signed up on some websites with the goal of finding people to check out each other’s content and discuss it. When you are starting out, it is very crucial to get some traction on the internet. Here is a screenshot of Hey! Look At My Thing on Spotify:

NOW, HOW ABOUT THEM TITLES!?!:

Episode #16: That Unnhh Thing {Uargghh! I can relate!}

Episode #15: That Nero Wolfe Thing {WTF Is that about?}

Episode #14: That John Dies At The End Thing {Now I don’t need to listen-thanks}

Episode #13: That Stardew Valley Thing {I see you are not (#13) superstitious}

Episode #12: That Columbo Thing {Sshh! Don’t speak on the mafia!}

Episode #11: That Transistor Thing  {Switching Things Up?}

Episode #10: That Curious Creations of Christine McConnell Thing {Okay Christine!}

Episode #9: That Gilmore Girls Thing {Sounds Like Ddrrammaa!!!}

Episode #8:That Tiny Beautiful Things Thing {Dynamite comes in small packages- ALL LIES!}

Episode #7: That JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Thing {Smells weird, strange, & dangerous!}

Episode #6: That Girl Genius Thing {Brilliant!}

Episode #5: That Donut County Thing {Officer, I can explain everything!}

Episode #4: That Harry Potter And The Sacred Text Thing {Drawing a blank on this spellbinding tale!}

Episode #3: That Pushing Daisies Thing {My mortally favorite title!}

Episode #2: That Wire Thing {I do my best work in the dark checking for shorts!}

Episode #1: That Legend of Korra Thing {Sounds video game-ey!}

Yes, I decided to go ahead and share the 16 title names of the Hey! Look At My Thing podcast. I also offered some playful unsolicited comments next to the titles. 😛 I see that there is a distinct pattern with the titles. I find that funny. So far, I like That Pushing Daisies Thing as my favorite title. If you see a title that sounds amusing to you, let me know. If you are aware of the podcast, by all means share. If you happen to be the host of the podcast, please comment. I didn’t dive into where their website can be found. Perhaps the owner will share so I can edit this post. My editing of my Episode #14 has messed up my whole week of completing other tasks! Grrhh!! I just shared their podcast link with my two sons. I shall see what they say about the content and share. Here are some questions that I have for the owners of the podcast. When they respond, I shall share the feedback.

1. What was your inspiration for the podcast content?
2. What was your inspiration for the podcast title, episode titles, and cover art?
3. Where in the world are you from?
4. How do you draw your topics of discussion?
5. When did you launch your podcast?
6. What challenges did you face when you launched your podcast?
7. What is your website/blog?
8. Who is your hosting platform?
9. Are you on Apple Podcasts? If so, share the link.
10. What 3 tips would you give brand new podcasters that you learned the hard way?

HERE ARE THE RESPONSES TO MY QUESTIONS FROM KEEGHAN ON BEHALF OF THE PODCAST TRIO:

Hey, this is Keeghan, one of the hosts of Hey! Look At My Thing and I am here to answer your burning questions. Lets begin!

What was your inspiration for the podcast content?
“I was talking with friends one day about how I enjoy sharing media I love with my friends and family and I thought that it might be interesting as a podcast concept. So I asked two of my friends that have some fairly divergent interests from me if they were interested in creating one with me and luckily enough they were”.

What was your inspiration for the podcast title, episode titles, and cover art?
“When I first had the idea for the concept I came up with the working title Take A Look At My Thing which we polished to Hey! Look At My Thing. The titles are formulaic in nature, That (media we are sharing that episode) Thing. The cover art was an idea I had as a cheeky play off the podcast name, designed by one of our hosts and our editor Rachel”.

Where in the world are you from?
“Eastern Iowa, unfortunately”.

How do you draw your topics of discussion?
“We have a ever changing list of our favorite media that we pull from, mostly things only one of the three hosts is intimately familiar with”.

When did you launch your podcast?
“About a year ago”.

What challenges did you face when you launched your podcast?

“Episode structure we had to scrap our first episode because we hadn’t thought in advance enough about how the different parts of the episode should fit together”.

What is your website/blog?
https://hlamt.podbean.com/

Who is your hosting platform?
“Podbean“

Are you on Apple Podcasts? If so, share the link.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hey-look-at-my-thing/id1515560552

What 3 tips would you give brand new podcasters that you learned the hard way?

“Scheduling is a balancing act, you have to be committed but flexible. Growing an audience takes time and might never happen. Your going to say um a lot, but preparation will help with that”.

Well, that is all that I have for this post. If you have a question, please leave a comment below. If you want to share your podcast with me, go ahead and share. If you do the same for me, I will be honored to check your content out and write about it as well. I am in favor of sharing content but spamming my comments section repeatedly is rude and pisses me off! You can post one comment; that is fine. I wouldn’t think to spam on other people’s blogs. Well, maybe I would. 😛 I realize people have different shitty & annoying marketing plans. Any previous interest in your comment just deep dived into the toilet because of your approach. Read the room Damnit! In a mountain range of content from around the world, I am honored you have hiked up my mountain and explored my cave of data. Thanks for stopping by this chick’s blog. It is highly appreciated. I hope you are getting absolutely bombed tonight at a bar and reading my content hungover on Sunday morning/afternoon. I will live vicariously through you. For those folks who are low key, I respect that. I wish you all a good ongoing weekend! 🙂

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube. Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify. I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #TessicaBrown, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

Hello Everyone!

This week has been very busy for me. Sometimes, I feel like there is not enough time in a day. This is especially true when there is a tedious task, such as editing. I have been working a lot on editing podcast episode #14 where Melissa and I discuss how society and social media had divided men vs women. We also discuss how men are avoiding feminist women, the negative qualities, and sharing definitions of different terms and labels. I have never considered myself as a feminist. Melissa sure doesn’t like the label! However, after reading the definition, it feels like any woman just exercising their available choices is a feminist. I am trying to get this episode edited so I can release it. The editing has been taking far longer than I anticipated. Way longer!!! There was a point where I thought I was going to just scrap the whole thing. I am learning how to edit and it is a work in progress. If I was trying this a few years before, it would have been so frustrating, I would have quit the project. Learning patience with the process is something that I have developed over time. I sure hope to get faster with the task over time. As soon as I get it finished, I shall share. I am spending time with the family tomorrow and hanging out with Melissa. Perhaps another podcast episode will spawn over the weekend. I did offer some advice this week on Quora. I am sharing some topics that popped up where I felt like I could offer sound guidance.

The topic of discussion was from a person, unsure if the writer is male or female or binary, who was trying to get a guy’s Instagram account. This request is after five months of daily texting. It didn’t reveal if the two people were dating or merely loosely communicating. I am aware that I am running off of very limited information. I feel empathy for a person who is not on the same page as the other person. This could be as a result of mismatched words and action, poor communication, an obsession, etc. It is not easy to blend two people of the opposite gender, different childhoods, different cultures, different geographic areas, different family dynamics, etc. Come to think of it, it is amazing that people can cohabitate under such different circumstances. This is actually somewhat close to what Melissa and I recently discussed for podcast Episode #14 that I am almost done with editing. It is not easy to manage a relationship if there is distance or other major barriers in the relationship. Life is rough when one partner cares less than the other partner. I am convinced that the dynamics are never equal. I have quite a few years of relationship experience that I believe makes me qualified to respond to the question. I offered the same advice as I would provide to my sons. Here is the posed question and my subsequent response:

“I asked a guy for his Instagram after 5 months of daily texting and now he hasn’t replied for over a day. Should I say something about it or just let it go?”

“Now when you say “daily texting” does this mean that you perceive that you are in a relationship? I give a little wiggle room for people if they have a busy day. If dodging goes on for days, then lose the number. Don’t let anyone waste your time. Are you just casually getting to know the man? Are you wanting to get into a relationship yet you are not quite there? What are your goals with the relationship? Are you trying to be the submissive and cooperating future wife? If so, be quiet as a church mouse and wait until he feels comfortable disclosing his social media to you. What value do you see with getting access to his social media page? Is it part of getting to know him or are you trying to “catch him”? I am not clear if you are a teenager or a 35-year old person. A man who chooses to hide his social media is doing it for a reason. He may have family and/or friends on his social media and not confident on how you will interact. He may be married and he doesn’t want you to figure it out. He may be juggling you with other people- normal in the beginning to figure out what you want. He may just be a private person and doesn’t want a bunch of potential exes on his social media platform. I am at the stage in life where I would just ask about it. If the man is incapable of communicating with me on it, I would part ways. My time is too precious to waste time on a man being sneaky, evasive, or a terrible communicator. I wish you luck!” – Leslie M. Jasper

https://onlinedating.quora.com/I-asked-a-guy-for-his-Instagram-after-5-months-of-daily-texting-and-now-he-hasn-t-replied-for-over-a-day-Should-I-say-s-2?comment_id=196150833&comment_type=2&filter=all&nsrc=notif_page&sncid=14384403288&snid3=20379512076

Life goes by very fast. Women have a biological clock so they cannot waste time on stagnant relationships. A man knows right away if he wants to be serious with a woman or not. Women should not linger with a man who doesn’t want to be serious within six months. I realize that women linger with bad relationships if the man is financing her way of life. I am glad that has never been an issue for me in my life. Why people linger in a relationship that they do not feel vested in can be a mystery or very obvious. It can be everything from being lazy, fear of being lonely, fear of not finding a better match, immature, foolish, selfish, bad timing in life, tragedies, etc. I know that I was deeply impacted by becoming a young widow. For many years after my husband’s death, I didn’t have it in me to date. When I did try, my heart wasn’t in it. I feared connecting with someone, getting attached, and them dying on me. It is something that has never left me. Despite those intense fears, I crossed paths with a man seven years later who is a good father and we made it work for 11 years. I indeed cared for the man. However, his behavior eroded that sentiment over time. I would not call it a passionate relationship; it was a friendship. It was a partnership indeed and not some Disney whirlwind romance. We may have still stayed together longer if he would have simmered down with his anger issues. Over time, that constant anger seeps onto a partner and drains the harmony of the home. My home is my sanctuary. Disrupting that repeatedly over a period of time will make anyone throw in the towel. I had a crazy passionate dynamics with my husband who died. It was ridiculous chemistry from the moment I laid eyes on him. I know it was a mutual connection. I am doubtful that I will find that again in life. However, I am okay with being wrong on that. I believe that each encounter is a lesson we must learn. There is no one that was a waste of time to cross paths. How long you linger is up to you. This is especially true of the relationship is dysfunctional. I wish everyone luck on this process.

Well, what do you think about the topic and advice? Does it make sense? Is it advice you would also share? Would your advice be different? If so, how would it be different? I would like to hear your thoughts on the topic of discussion. If you have a new topic to suggest that I dive into, let me know. I hope you are swinging from the chandelier tonight and having a wildly good time. If you are laying low chilling like me, I respect that as well. I will live vicariously through the wild peeps! 😛 I am hoping to have a upcoming good summer that involves some fun. Wherever you are in the world, I thank you for taking the time to inspect my content. The internet has a tremendous amount of data to sort through. I am honored that you found me as a needle in a haystack of life. Have a good ongoing weekend! 🙂

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube. Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify. I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict

Hello Everyone!

Side Note: As mentioned in Part A, I have been busy working on writing out and editing the upcoming podcast content. I have been wrapped up in other things as well. I have loaded the podcast episode that mirrors the work below. This has been split up into two parts: Episode #12: Part A & Episode #13: Part B. Melissa and I teamed up yesterday and did a podcast episode #14. I will share that as soon as I finish editing it. I decided to write about how hard life was like as an apprentice electrician as a woman back in the 1990’s in New York. For more details than what is offered in these two podcast episodes #12 & #13, you will have to go find the book #ConstructionTales on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Audible. Now on to Part B to finish the story.

I jumped into a different job with a totally different vibe the next day.  There was “good” *Larry and a “bad” *Larry on this jobsite.  Good Larry was a kind man, was willing to show me how to do tasks, and somewhat low key.  Bad Larry was uptight, rough around the edges, and quick to bark at me if I didn’t do a task exactly how he wanted.  Often, I didn’t have a choice and had to work with bad Larry.  I wasn’t on my game since it was right when my husband died.  Admittedly, I was showing up very late to work and heavily distracted in this fog for a few months after the accident.  I would come in late and be sat down until the next hour struck.  I recognize now that it was tough love.  At the time, I believe that I felt like I was being punished for my struggle.   Bad Larry used to tell me that I will never make it in this business.  He threatened to write the apprentice director a letter and get me thrown out of the union.  He goes on to torment me and say that I should just cut my losses and let go of the house and move back to Oregon.  This embarrassing rant would go on when we were all sitting for coffee break.  I absolutely refused to take the bait and get emotional. 

Bad Larry was a very moody guy.  At times, he was super critical and then he would be kind.  I would actually get rattled when he would give any form of compliment much less show kindness to me.  Whenever it happened, I knew some negative rant was soon to follow.  It was really hard to deal with a rollercoaster of moods.  This was amplified when I was under stress and very tired from the long hours.  The more he would get critical and yell at me, the more nervous he made me.  One day I snapped and yelled right back at him.  He tried telling me to pack up my tools and go home for the rest of the day.  I packed up and went crying to where good Larry was working.  I asked him if I could work with him for the rest of the day and he took me under his wing.  I was on that job for almost a year until it wrapped up.  I crossed paths with bad Larry years later.  He was very happy to see me and I was cordial.  I learned he lost his house and got divorced.  I still have my house to this day until I sell it to my son.  Life sure works in mysterious ways.  Be careful what negative energy that you send out to other people that it doesn’t come right back to you.

I moved on to the largest job I had ever been seen to date.  There were hundreds of different trades on the jobsite since it was a brand-new building, called a deck job.  There were at least 200 electricians alone on this jobsite.  As an apprentice, you have to get the coffee order for the entire crew.  That process would literally take 2-3 hours each morning.  I used to actually make money off that task and that helped me so much.  I think I used to make $50/day on getting coffee from tips.  This work climate was so different from any experiences to date.  I worked a bunch of overtime hours on this job.  That was so helpful for my situation.  By this point, the guys in my apprentice class started warming up and actually started talking to me.  My classmate who sat either on my left or right had a heavy Jamaican accent.  He would respond to the questions in class and I would interpret for the instructor when he would stare at him like he didn’t know what he said.  It became a regular thing I would do that after the initial laughs.  The guy who sat on the other side of me was a huge party guy who copied off of me during every exam in class.  It got to the point that during break, he would buy me food and drink to show his appreciation.  It was during my 3^rd and 4^th year of my apprenticeship when I became no longer invisible.  I then started getting invited to go to the bar with the entire class.  I told them I needed to know well in advance so I can make arrangements with daycare and the second job.  To my surprise, I started hitting the strip clubs with them as well once a year.  The guys picked up the tab since it was an expense that I could not afford nor would I even go there if it wasn’t for my classmates.

I moved on from the deck job a year later and then stayed in a small shop for about two years.  For a woman to last that long in a shop is pretty damn good.  I encountered some interesting characters during that time in that shop.  I did write about my crazy coworker antics more in depth in my book #ConstructionTales.  There is one particular character, his name is *Chester, who had absolutely no filter on his mouth.  It often felt like it was Chester’s life mission to torment anyone and everyone around him.  He most definitely challenged me upon our initial greeting.  After I did my signature hard handshake, he said to me, “there’s two things.  There’s no crying in baseball and no women in construction”.  I brushed off the comment and didn’t allow any sign of emotion.  This was the point where I needed to do a lot of brushing off of bad jokes and offer humor in order to mentally survive.  I moved on to a shop that felt like it was a good fit since the crew was very warm and willing to teach me.  Additionally, they had a general forewoman in the shop.  The problem was that I had to go and do residential type work for my last 18 months so I had to leave.  I enjoyed learning how to install audio visual racks and projection screens during what is known as my “MIJ” period.  That is the last 18 months of my apprenticeship.  I worked with a really good crew.  Looking back, the hard part was leaving each shop.  Not because I got emotional or missed anyone.  It was because I dealt with a fresh batch of new faces to work with and prove myself all over again.  It is not until you have been in a few years where you build a good reputation and it precedes you to where you don’t feel like you have to start from scratch each time.

I was a forward thinker during my apprentice years.  I thought about my reputation in both the work manner and as a woman amongst a pool of men.  I felt like it was important to try to avoid any meaningless encounters with my coworkers.  If my two sons wanted to enter the business, they would feel the wrath of my wrongdoings.  As it turned out, my eldest joined me into the business.  There are plenty of coworkers with no filter who would have shared my reputation, via a humorous jab, if it existed.  I warned him ahead of time on the possibility and how to handle the situation.  He tensed up while I was giving him the warning.  He was advised to laugh it off and make a joke out of it.  I feel blessed that any journeyman who has crossed paths with my son has been a positive experience.  As much as I tried to avoid any romantic interactions with my coworkers, I had a moment of weakness.  I stumbled upon a man that I perceived would be a great family man.  He pursued me heavily, I relented, and it lasted 11 years and produced my second son.  You can’t totally avoid smack talk when parting ways from a failed relationship.  As the woman I am today, my goal is to avoid men in construction.  I would say that I have a good rapport with my brothers and sisters in my union.  It started out rough with the silent treatment.  It evolved over time when I let my hair down and learned how to use humor to deflect most hairy situations.  I even went as far to make fun of myself to diffuse any bombs sent my way. 

When you lack those skill sets to counteract the dribble from nasty coworkers, I can understand how a woman entering the trade would feel intimidated.  I can also understand why a woman would not want to even pick up a trade.  I get it why there are only 6% of women in construction.  I learned how to focus and turn off distractions around me while working in my trade.  It can be overwhelming if you allow the eyes of others to distract you.  It is an absolute fact that most any guy on a jobsite can tell you what the female on the job is working on.  Hopefully, that has changed over time.  I chose my path based upon my father believing in me and telling me that I could do it.  He knew it far ahead of the time that I discovered it.  I have been taught in my trade by some of the best journeymen that I know.  I have made many friends in this business while some serve as a brother or father figure to me.  I have also since bonded with some good sisters in this business as well.  Even my son has snagged some good mentors in his four years in this trade as well.  If I could go back in a time machine with my current knowledge, I think I would choose the same career path.  Perhaps I would not take on so many tasks, that even men don’t do solo, that have given me bulging discs over the years.  Just because I can throw a stick of 4” rigid on each shoulder, doesn’t mean that I should.  I would often work on things solo since my pride got in the way and I didn’t want any help.  Those are some painful lessons that I cannot erase.  I would recommend to any woman coming into construction to incorporate a sense of humor into their personality.  May God bless you if you show up on a job and just focus on the downsides to the environment and relentlessly complain.  You have to remember that a man sees a woman on the jobsite, his knee jerk assumption is that she is here to collect a check and find a husband.  Each hard working woman can evolve that collective thinking over time.  Hell, I am even guilty of thinking that!  If you focus, listen, and work hard, people will make the exception for you.  It may even change the person’s mind to be open to the next trade sister who comes along behind you.

I thank you for taking the time to hear about my overview on how I handled my early years in construction.  For more details, via the different jobsite encounters, go check out my book that is entitled, Construction Tales: Volume I: A Woman’s Journey To Becoming An Electrician.  It can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Audible.  What do you think about my journey as an apprentice?  Is your journey as a woman in the trades the same?  Or is it different?  Would you have been able to do it?  Do you think you could endure the jobsite conditions?  I would love to hear your feedback.  No matter where you are in the world, thank for checking out my journey as a journeywoman electrician from New York.  You have many options to read and you chose my specific sequence of letters jumbled all meshed together.  I wish you a good hump day Wednesday and a good week that is left!  *Names have been changed to protect my coworkers involved in this story.

This wraps up Part A and Part B, Episodes #12 and #13 on “How I Managed My Early Days In Construction As A Woman”.  Feel free to head back over to the podcast platform of your choice and look for Part A to hear the beginning of the story if you missed it.  For more information, head over to our website at www.ConstructionTales.com.  Thanks for listening to us here at Verbally Disastrous and have a great day!

Cheers!

Leslie M. Jasper

-Author & Host of the #VerballyDisastrous podcast now alive on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, Soundcloud, Spotify, and YouTube.  Other platforms include: Acast, I Heart Radio, Listen Notes, Overcast, Player FM, Pod Bean, Podcast Addict, Podcast Gang, Podchaser, Stitcher, Tune In.

-The Audio Blog: Verbally Disastrous Podcast & Construction Tales Blog. Now available on: Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Breaker, Deezer, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Radio Public, and Spotify.  I will announce more platforms very soon.

#Soundtrap, #ConstructionTales, #audio, #intro, #fun, #hot, #mess, #creations, #Connecticut, #NewYork, #family, #foolery, #podcast, #Spotify, #VerballyDisastrous, #new, #topics, #howto, #secrets, #women, #powerful, #strong, #shorts, #men, #teen, #trynottolaugh, #edgy, #realistic, #explicit, #mature, #shocking, #thoughtprovoking, #fresh, #dark, #mustwatch, #Soundcloud, #YouTube, #Johnny, #creative, #IABX, #Reddit, #community, #Leslie@VerbDisastrous, #strongwomen, #womaninconstruction, #empower, #gender, #ICanDOIT, #femalerenovator, #renovation, #project, #womanconstructionproject, #strong, #slideshow, #2013Project, #learnbywatching, #girlpower, #sheetrock, #tape, #electrical, #plumbing, #tile, #dust, #dirt, #debris, #basement, #paint, #renovate, #insulation, #hihats, #wiring, #metalstuds, #screws, #workout, #Johnny, #promo, #videos, #creative, #sons, #discusswithmom, #topics, #Tom, #openconversation, #Johnny, episodes, #LotLizard, #AmazonPrime, #video, #documentary, #Netflix, #gorillaglue, #gorilla, #glue, #spray, #gorillagluewoman, #TessicaBrown, #hair, #hairsurgery, #LosAngeles, #DrObeng, #plasticsurgeon, #alcoholic, #drinks, #testing, #episodes, #release, #soon, #alcoholic #samples, #RevelStoke, #NewAmsterdam, #PinkWhitney, #WickedPickle, #BirdDog, #blackberry, #whiskey, #vodka, #99Bananas, #OleSmokey, #Tswoooh23_, #videogaming, #streaming, #OSHA502, #renewal, #trainthetrainer, #RIT, #Anchor, #Breaker, #GooglePodcasts, #PocketCasts, #RadioPublic, #article, #life, #apprentice, #ComedyCentral, #skit, #JessaReid, #ApplePodcasts, #Deezer, #Podchaser, #PodBean, #TuneIn, #Castbox, #PlayerFM, #iHeartRadio, #Stitcher, #Acast, #PodcastGang, #PodcastAddict, #ziplining, #AdventurePark, #presskit, #SayNoToRapists, #JusticeForUwa 

#Scholastic #nonfiction #bookstagram #DropEverythingAndRead #SpringBookFair2021 #LoveOfReading #Reading #ConstructionTales #books #funny #NYC #podcast #Spotify #VerballyDisastrous #bookfair #bookjoy #ReadAnywhere #LoveToRead #AllForBooks #Adult #FBF21 #LBF21 #BEA21 #IKBF21 #KLF21 #HKTDC21 #GBF21 #IIBF21 #LATFOB21 #SIBF21 #FILBO21 #EIBF21 #BAIBF21 #MIBF21 #BIDLDSP21 #BS21 #BBF21 #HIBF21 #IBTAF21 #IBBF21 #ITEF21 #JLF21 #JIBF21 #LBF21 #NDWBF21 #TiBE21 #TIBF21 #BCBF21 #LIVREPARIS21 #SDLDM21 #HBF21 #FIL21 #IIBF21 #SBF21 #BuchWein21 #VIBF21 #ADIBF21 #AIPF21 #bookstagram #book #bukuislami #b #bukumurah #islamicbookfair #buku #booklover #bukusejarah #buchberlin #booklove #cher #bookshelf #internationalbookfair #bookholic #jualbuku #jualbukumurah #reading #obralbuku #bukuindie #bukujogja #tokobukumurah #buchmesse #langka #pasarbuku #bukulangka #bhfyp #jualbelibukuonline #onlineshop #jualanonline #booklovers #anresbooks #readingbooks #booksofinstagram #boekuitstalling #buch #bookish #buchberlinkids #tokobukuonline #boimela #lesen #bookworm #poetry #gontor #fbm #bazarbuku #bookreview #berlin #read #writer #berlinerbuchmesse #buchmesseberlin #author #instabooks #boekverkoping #virtualbookfair #bookaddict